Hmmm..... weather's so hot today manz.... cannot tahan... too lazy to go wash my clothes lehz.... kekek... woke up at abt 12 plus onli... slpy manz... hmm... was talkin to YH last nite aft i updated my blog n he played the guitar for me again... kekeke... touched wor... *Thanks ya.... so sweet of u...* Played Reality n he was like tellin me tt he's not played this b4... was kinda impressed lor... Continued talkin.... cldnt reali remember wat i said but he mentioned smething like alot of pple oso care n r concern for u mahz... n i was like hw wld u noe? N he was like ya... i noe Roro is n abt another 3 others oso mahz... Hmm... didnt reali wanted to talk abt tt so chged topic.... hmmm....
I guess when the others read this they'll oso noe wat i mean la... Smetimes i cant help to tink n feel if its bcos of wat i said n relate in here tts y sme pple are behaving differently compared to b4. *siGhz* Is it? I noe tt they do come into my blog to read... but.... hmmm.... smetimes i jus wish they'll reali tell me wat they tink n feel instead of jus keepin things to themselves n not say a thing.... i noe of this person who will tell me does it make any difference to things even if i say it out? WIll it change anything? I guess it wld onli make evyone feel worse n all den wats the point of sayin things out... I alone suffer n be sad beta den evyone feelin the same way rite? *siGhz* I jus hate it when anyone tells me tt....
Was talkin to YH last nite n smewhere during our conversation, we smehow talked abt the both of us.... YH was like sayin he doesnt wanna talk abt it cos he noes it wld end up the same way as it did the last time n he didnt want tt to happen... if i remembered correctly it was smewhere durin our conversation the nite b4 tt he mentioned smething n when i asked him to repeat it, he said he cldnt remember.... I cldnt quite remember wat he said but i guess it was smething like either i dun wanna lose u or i dun wan u to go or smething like tt.... Which is which?? Wonder wat he meant by sayin tt....
Anyway we continued talkin n i bcme sort of withdrawn n he was like wats wrong dear? Did i say smething wrong again? Y u bcme like tt again? Come i baobao u k? hmm.... tis guy used to tell me tt he didnt n wldnt wanna call me dear n all over the phone.... nor wld he even muack anyone on the phone.... but tts not the case now.... when i asked him y he was like cos if i did it wld mean smething to me... i wld be like committing myself to tt person... so y is he doin it now? Haf u or R u committed oredi?????
Remember talkin abt this topic for quite awhile last nite... hmmm.... YH was like askin me abt my feelins for him, if it was more than b4 n if i felt closer to him now... i put the same qn back to him n he was like u answer me first.... chose not to answer him even though i sort of knew wat to tell him... dun tink i wanna open myself too much nw... dunno y.... cautious i guess....YH was like since tts the case then i choose not to answer u too.... *siGhz* I guess i noe yr answer oredi... from the way u talk to me n the things u say to me... yr tone of voice n all... i guess i noe wat yr answer is... the onli diff is tt u didnt say it out....tts all... guess u're rite.... shldnt talk abt this... cos when we do things we dun wan to happen does happen.... those who read my blog n mean alot to me will start to be withdrawn n all cos they may think tt it'll be beta for me tt way...
Y cant they jus leave the decision to me n all n not do anything abt it? Not to withdraw themselves from me n all.... they may tink tt they're helpin me to make things easier but i doubt it....
Beta stop tinking abt this whole thing n makin myself miserable... smetimes its easier said than done lor... feel guilty at times... but i guess i shld heed roro's advice lor... to take things not tt seriously n jus njoy the moment.... if n when things shld happen they wld lor...
Anyway.... makko n kuku's here at my plc now with the marshmellow man Gavin n the skinny devil Bernice.... hehehe..... so noisy now.... was talkin to YiHong earlier on... said he wld call m aft he finished bathing but smehow he's gotta help his mum wash the fishtank now...
oh welll...... guess i'll jus hang ard here for awhile more... hmm....
Oh ya... Joel hasnt contacted me since i dunno when.... the same goes for XXXXX..... i guess im not so bothered abt her not contactin me anymore... kinda sick n tired of lookin forward to her contactin either roro n myself.... tink it sort of got to tt extend of me being pissed abt it oso.... dunno wats her problem... anyway those who know me noe im like tt... like wat roro said to me b4.... if smeone is gd to me im gd to tt smeone, if tt smeone is extremely gd to me i wld be extremely gd to tt smeone.... However if tt smeone gets into my bad books den tt smeone shld be cautious lor..... kekek...
Feelin kinda hot manz.... hmm... maybe i'll go bath in awhile n njoy wateva's left of the weekend..... heee.....
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