Tuesday, September 30, 2003

~.~.~ EnD oF aNotHeR dAy ~.~.~

Hmmm.... it's almost time to go home.. place is kinda empty now tt Jimo n Chitra's left... Wat with roro not bein ard smemore... haiz... Kinda slpy now... mayb tts cos i haven been doin anything much besides meddling with my blog...kekeke... did sme changes again... its like neva endin manz... haha...

Hmmm... left the forum thingy at the bottom so feel free to post anything in it ya... *siGhz* Haf decided to chg my blog address since to many pple noes abt it... Jus didnt like the idea of any tom, dick n harry to be reading my blog n all... also removed sme of the links too... but den again me added sme oso.. haha... Haf any interestin webbie in mind?? kekek...

Anyway it's been kinda boring today... nothing much has happened... jus the normal hickcups in ofc as usual.. argh! Shall not tink abt it... im counting down to 6pm now... haha... tink i'll be able to leave earli today... since i had like practivally the whole day to do this... Damn... smethings wrong with the stupid server in ofc now... evythings kinda slow n dumb... *hmPf!!!* Doubt i'll be able to do anything liaos.... sad sia... *siGhz*

Checkin my emails... cant recall when's the last i actuali cleared my mails... n true enaf its been bombard... Anyway... a fren of mine sent me this clip for the movie "Turn Left Turn Right".... Haf attached the link below... Hope u guys enjoy it....

http://www.junejune.net/ok.htm

--= PeCeFuL =--

Came to wk earli today... :) msged roro to remind her to bring my stuff but tt ger replied tt she wasnt comin to work today... head headache cos slpt late last nite.. haiz... sianz... so tempted to not come oso... but wat the heck... since i'm all ready i'll jus go to wk n rot... :P hehe... its gonna be so peaceful without her ard... no one to bug me n grumble in my ears abt her hair liaos... yeAH!

Haha... msged my darlin to wait for me b4 goin dwn n she said ok n asked me not to be late since she's hungry... ahaha... told her i was leavin oredi... punched at 8.26am... came into ofc but the 3 maskerteers werent ard! *HmfP!!* :S still say ok jus nw...

Anyway msged chitra n at the same time rec'd a msg fr anja... said they jus reached dwnstairs n asked me to go dwn b4 april comes.. was like ok lor... hNg~~~ Turned on evything den went dwn.... kinda hot today... saw anja n i was like eh wat pants u wearin huh? Kekeke...tot she wore the same pants as me today... hehe... :P lucky not... haha... but wore abt the same color again today... ehehe... yesterday 2... ^5 manz anja! Haha... great minds tink alike...

Came back up n did our stupid emails again n surprisingly... ive hit the target we've set for today... wahaha... so haf all the time now to update my blog... gonna pester my darlin aft lunch oredi... :) *siGhz* when are we goin down.... alamak... inda hungry... waiting for this jimo whose been on the line since jus now manz... : ( *waiting....hungry... hurry ppplllllsssss..... faintin....*

Monday, September 29, 2003

~~~ FrUstRatEd ~~~

ArGH~~~ So frustrated manz... >:-( Stupid comp so slow it's gettin on my nerves! Damn it manz! Tried loggin in fr home n still i wasnt able to hear my background music... gettin so frustrated oredi... dunno wats wrong with this bloody thing now... *siGhz* Damn! Reali gettin on my nerves manz.... testin my patience... evything's jus not goin the way i wan it to... AiYoZzz! Nothing's on tv oso... *HaiZ...* Gotta find my darlin tmw at wk oredi... my blog-saver... wahaha... :P

It's so quiet at home today... sara's not home yet... van's sick... *Awww..... u beta take care ah....* papa's not been home since 3am yesterday.... mummy said he wont be back until tmw... m kinda used to him hardly being home nw.... even if n when he's at home it's usually not more than a day or 2... den off he goes to wk again... hmm... mummy's meddlin with smething in the kitchen n as usual the old man's sittin on his sofa... *SiGhz* so borin... worse than rottin...

Feelin kinda slpy now though... maybe cos me jus finished dinner... HH called me while i was on my way home... erm... called twice but din wanna ans the call... guess im still kinda sore with wat he msged me earlier today... dunno y oso... shldnt matter tt much actuali... but wat the heck! ArGH! feel like eatin orange... but lazy to go cut... tink i'll jus rot in front of the comp a little while more n c wat i can do abt things... so stupiak manz...

Tink i've to keep updatin my blog constantly liaos like my darlin... :P even during the wkends..... no matter wat... or else sme pple will bug me n ask me to update it... tink wat? story book or some serial is it? *siGhz* but in a way i guess its beta oso... or else by the time i update it on mon i wld haf forgotten most of wat i wanted to say oredi... hehe... :P Maybe few yrs dwn the road or by next yr i can us print evything n start to publish a book abt myself oredi... hahah... ya rite.. wishful tinking onli manz... always building sandcastles in the air... Come to tink of it.. its been smetimes since i did tt liaos... kekeke... still remember tt there were sme who used to call me a dreamer... hahah... :p

HH called me again jus now but i happened to be washin the dishes so didnt ans his call... haiz... :S Hmm... msged me shortly after... askin if i was angry n apologised... *siGhz* dunno whether to be angry with him or wat... im always like tis manz... can neva stay angry at smeone for too long unless im reali pissed off n all... esp those who easily gets me on my nerve n agitate me.... Haha... tts it... But tts rare nowadays compared to b4... esp. if tt smeone is smeone im fond of... hmmm... dunno good or bad at times... :( smetimes cant help to tink tt one wld be taken for granted bcos of minor things like tis... evyone gets complacent fr time to time... esp GUYS! Take things for granted... onli realise it's too late when they lose smething or smeone tt matters alot to them... wats the point of cryin over spilt milk? Onli when things happen den they regret... *hOpELesS*

Hmm.... so fast oredi 9+.... Might slp earlier today if nothing crops up last minute... gotta tink of wat to wear first wor... or else sure late again... hahah... actuali doesnt make any diff... keke... :P jus the tot of hafin to go to work makes me lazy n slpy oredi... gotta get lots of rest the next few days..... since me gonna be bz fr thur onwards... time reali flies man... bz for the weddin preparations n now its happenin on fri.... kinda excited though... hee... : )

...:: SmeLLy DaY : ( ::...

Hmm... started the day quite well... was in ofc earlier than usual even though me slpt quite late last nite since i was on the phone with one of my didis... :P went to punch card for roro n myself... hmm... so long no go punch oredi manz.. hahah.. anyway logged into my account n was kinda relieved tt i didnt haf tt much of a follow-up to do... thanks to my darlin who did my follow-up for me : ) *Thanks ah Darlin* Muahaha...

Went for breakfast as usual... came back up but didnt haf any mood to work manz... Evyone oso felt the same... received a msg fr Joel... Ha! Aft so long... i was like wah! U remembered tt i still exist ah? n he was like hehe... told him smething which i cldnt remember n he was like call u tonite? n told him nvm... kinda pissed... dunno y oso.. but at the same time glad tt he msged...

Started wk for awhile n den had to go for tt stupid briefing... Haiz... the moment i entered the room i was like damn.. tt choy was present... Goodness! Pity my nose manz... Tt Choy is reknowned for being the smelliest old fool i've come across. *pEngZ*

Briefing started n some of us started askin qns evy now n then... Tt jasmine ah can reali get on my nerve... speaks with tt china twang n didnt reali quite catch wat some of us were askin her... haiz... terrible manz... give up on her... Started to day-dream a little since it was too interesting... my inner sensor suddenly got turned on automatically... piangz eh... tt choy ah... polluted the whole bloody place with his aroma... wat a therapy manz... :s cannot tahan... was like pratically coverin my nose n all... haiz... still was able to smell!!! ArGh! Asked Jymo if he smelt wat i smelt n he was like yeah... wheres tt coming from? I was like who else? Damn it... the place is infested with smelly pple manz... den turned to chitra n gave her tt look n she was like ya i know wat u mean... hehe... :p showed me wat she n anja was writing n i was like haha.. even she oso noticed the smell ah... pity april n another girl who was sitting jus next to him manz... kekeke.... the girl was like tryin hard not to make it obvious when she covered her nose... hahaha.... cannot take it... came back n did sme stuffs den it was lunch time.. hahah... time reali flies... : )

Had lunch n as usual played daidi aft tt... den HH msged me... Hmm... asked him if tt attachment girl asked him out for lunch today or not n he was like ya went for lunch with her n a grp of other... den asked if she was the one who asked him for lunch n he was like ya den i asked sme others to join... i was like oh ok.. good lor... haf more things to tok hor... n he was like erm.. yalor jus talk n suan her lor... Piangz eh! can come n tell me smemore... hmmm.... i was like oh good lor.. now haf another person to talk to n suan oredi lor... so u noe who to find the next time.. make sure u get her home no. oso lehz... he can come n tell me onli haf her hp no. n she msgs me morning n stuffs like tt but complain n i was like y? den he said cos i din reply her... HnG! C! Told him b4 tt she likes him n all he still didnt believe... : ( *Now Do U Believe me???* Damn! This guy jus doesnt not when to stop... can come n tell me this n tt smemore... abit fed-up lehz... jealous? I oso dunno... maybe i guess... *siGhz*

Anyway came back up n realised tt i still had lots of stuffs to do... but as usual no mood to... *siGhz* who wld be manz... bored... sick... slpy... weather so shiok to slp... was abt to start raining... aaa... my bed... pillow... comforter... haiz... :s started doin abit of stuff when another of my didi msged me again.. this guy ah... kekek... can come n tell me he still hafin shootin practice until tmw... den shoot until shoot bird! Hahaha... cuckoo manz... HH msged me again n asked if i was jealous... alamak... he ah! *PeNgz* told him is it n asked him y? if he tot i wasnt den take take it tt i was jus jokin lor.. cuckoo fella can reply me no la.. i can sense tt u r lor so jus wanna confirm... wahlauz ehz! Confirm wat?! *HmPf!*

Anyway rushed thru to hit my benchmark so i cld start doin my own stuffs... finally managed to... hehe... as u can c... did sme minor changes... found the song i liked... kekeke... wonder if it can be heard or not... stupid PC in ofc cant hear lehz... Haiz... guess i'll jus haf to go back home to test it out..... Roro's startin to slp oredi... tink beta start packin to go home.. kekek... before she starts drooling... wahaha.... she's gonna kill me for sure when she sees this... kekek... :p

Sunday, September 28, 2003

....I'M bROKe....

Got up earli this mornin to go to church... Haiz... they had sme children mass this since children's day is approaching... GoodnEss!! I swear i cld hear the screaming voices of children ringin in my head n ear-drums even after they left church! pIanGz cannot tahan manz... *HmPf!!!*

Anyway had spaghetti for lunch n after tt, i went to Compass point with my parents... goodness.... i bought another pair of shoes lehz! : ( Jialats la... Haiz... Last count i now haf 14 pairs... n i cant seem to stop buyin still... damn! :s Gotta remind myself not to buy anymore... but... but... i tink hard la...

Kekeke... came home abt 4 or so in the aftnoon n talked to HH... had dinner n watched 28days while doin manicure for my mum... contemplated whether or not to do mine but decided to do smewhere in the middle lof the week... hmm... show was ok.. but papa was like wat a stupid show... no head no tail... hmm... i guess sunday went on quite peacefully... Haiz... Joel hasnt msged or call me still though...

Saturday, September 27, 2003

~~~ IrriTated WiF MySeLF ~~~

ARGH!!!!! So irritated with myself now! Blardy hell! Was entering my blog over wat happened yesterday n twice the fuckin thing got hanged n i had to re-do the damn thing again... damn it... the 2nd time when it prompted if i wasnted to save the damn thing i even clicked yes n now i cant find it! Sickening manz!!! arGH....

SO SICKENIGN MAN!!! Damn! *HmPf!!!* : ( *go get a drink 1st....*

Aaahhh... refereshin... *sluRp* ok... cant decide to repeat wat i did earlier jus now or not.... haiz... sianz manz.... so long u noe... i was almost finishin my entry when it happened! Bang manz...Anyway to summerise evything... yesterday was kinda ok onli.... Course in the morning... salon appt in the afternoon... dinner at nite den sat down for drinks at ChinaJump.... hmmm.... met 2 of jymmie's frenz... not too bad... Marcus looked like he cld cry when he related wat happened yesterday when he met up with his ex topass her smethings... poor guy... got dumped by his ger recently when they were abt to ROM... cldnt get over it... can undrstand how he felt since went thru it b4... but at least mine wasnt as bad as his... porr guy.... will take time to get over wan lor... but to be able to do so he's gotta give up his hope of any form of reconcilation lor... cos from the looks of thing it's jus not possible...he's gotta buck up n move on since tt ger has oredi moved on... well.... i guess its up to him alone to decide whn to give up n move on lor...

Anyway ChinaJump sucked last nite... they had a live band performance 3/4 of the nite.... arGh! cannot believe our luck manz... sway like dunno wat... anyway drank smoked n played daide... talked cock as usual... laffed at time... jymmie lost ot a couple of times manz... the moment he started lafin he cld stop... n the more he tried to stop the worse it was... hahah... thanks to marcus.... joker manz... : ) tt guy reali jialatz... smoked like 20+ of ML in jus a matter of tt few hrs since he met us... goodness! For a non-smoker he's terrible n beyond redemption sia... haiz... but at least compared to drinking smoking's the beta choice lor...

Got so bored at one point tt i resorted to finding for ants on the floor... haiz... actuali managed to find a few... hahah... den got bored of doin tt so listened to the conversation of this table of pervertic lookin old man.... goodness... they were discussin where to go after this n tt n in the end they decided to go find one of the frenz of one of them n den proceed to a ite club! hahaha... one of the guy still sid things like beta prepare lots of $10 noted for tips... alamak... mAn!!! Hopeless....

Anyway after being Kpo for tt few minutes me started starin into the bowl of burning candles tt was placed on this stand smewhere behind roro... was jus starin at it until the oli thing i saw was the flame n evything else ard it jus turned pitch black... after awhile i blinked my eyes n evything sort of went back to normal... howeva... still had tt day-dream mood... hahah.. anyway turned to look at roro n she was like liftin her eyebrows n gave me tt ya y? wat? anything? kind of expression.... n i was like hmm... nothing... kekek... den did my eyebrow thing at her n she started laffin n asked me to do it again... i was like y lehz? she was like when u move yr eyebrow onli yr the one on yr rite goes downwards n the one of yr left either remains at the same position or moves up... i was like ya.. i noe... n she started laffin... crazy ger! Tink she coldnt get over the trauma she went thru after cuttin n permin her hair.... kekek... kept complainin her hair looked reali short n the curls made her look like an auntie. Den went on to say the highlights not obvious enaf n cant c the color... she's been grumblin abt it since we left the salon... *pEnGz* Me on the other hand was rather satisfied n happy with my color...kekeke... liked it... finally it looks red again... hahah... actuali not exactly red lor... more like the color of red wine... heheh..... : )

Was like hungry.... so after awhile we decided to go for supper at Lau Pa Sat but in the end we ended up at Maxwell... hee... ate smething den headed home... roro alighted first den me followed by Kelvin... kekek... rec'd a call fr roro cos as she was goin up the stairs there was this very big ugly lookin cockroach at the end of the step on he 2nd floor n she was like so scared to go up... told her to use her file n fan it away or throw smething at it n she was like eeee.... the fillers movin lehz... like anytime can fly towards me... kekek...i was like alamak... den how... she was like wait i can throw anything at it or not... found this empty sweet container n threw it at the cockroach but it didnt even budge abit... kekeke.... in the end she decided to go dwn n take the lift up to the 6th floor n walk down another 3 flights... goodness... wat this woman wld do over a cockroach... alamak... but if it was me n the cockroach was a big lizard i wld haf done the same... Hahaha......... :p

Reached home bath n all den decided to msg sme pple gd nite... was abt to settle in when i receiveda sg fr GARRY! Kekekeke...... surprised tt he was still awake at tt hr... msged him a few more times n ended up talkin to him... kekek.... : ) Finally!!! After almost 1 month + i finally got to listen to his voice n talk to him again... *HmPf!!* stupid guy jus cldnt call me... missed him wor... was upset when he stopped msgin n callin me... didnt noe wat he wanted or was tinkin since he didnt say a thing... *siGhz* Glad tt its over now... most imptly is tt he's finally started msgin n now callin me... hee... : ) Was talkin to him this morning when i woke up oso... eh actuali more like this afternoon... hahah.... :P went back to slp awhile longer after talkin to him n woke up ard 3+ agaiin... mummy jus reached home.. was heatin my soup when papa came back oso... wahlauz... all the old ones at home... haiz... was supposed to meet mummy at compass point but she said she had to go meet my auntie for some show thing at victoria concert hall so i was like like tt den nvm lor... den she was like tmw we go lor... i was like ok lor c how... was supposed to meet my cousin to go Joo CHiat COmplex again to try n collect the kebayas... Shall see wat the plan is la... : )

Hmm... tink me gonna haf dinner soon... nothing much to update today since im like at hme the whole time.... come to tink of it me forgot to mention tt Joel hasnt called me since he went hm on thurs... msged his b4 i slpt last nite... den rec;d a reply this morning... he was back at tt stupid camp thingy... supposed to be back there onlin on mon buy he said tt there were last min chges in the schdule... *siGh* Stupiak... :S Not bothered much la... Tink beta go prepare dinner soon... or else the Stereo radio station's gonna started broadcasting again... *SiGhz* Cannot take it when tt happens..... :S

hEe... : ) found smething rather meaningful... here it is....

Dedicated to All my Buddies n Darlins... U noe who u r.... : )

Friday, September 26, 2003

~~~ GoT mE tiNkin ~~~

HH called last nite n we started talkin on the phone... been so long since i talked to him... hmm... kinda miss him... actuali i reali dunno wat my feelins for him r like... same goes for mel Joel n garry... *coNfUsEd* Hate it manz... smetimes i hate myself... so indecisive...1 way or the other i keep hafin tt feelin tt im like playin with them n all... but then again i noe tt im not... dun wan them to feel tt im cheatin them on their feelins n all cos im not... reali feel smething for them... but i jus dun wanna make tt promise or commitment... not too sure y oso... m i waiting for smeone? Afraid tt smething bad may happen? Dunno wat i reali wan or rather who? Fear of gettin hurt again? Dun wanna lose them nor the feelin i haf for them but on the other hand i cant be selfish to hold onto them n all... *sIgHz*

Anyway was talkin to him n things were goin on well... laffed n joked... jus abt how we always did n den things took a turn... good or bad i dunno... started to seriously talk abt things btw us n i realiesed tt i dun like him like i used to as b4... it meant smething more than tt... well actuali i haf been hafin tt feelin for awhile but i jus didnt seriously went to tink further abt it... i was like hw is tis possible? Hw can i haf sort f the same feelins for each of them? Its jus not possible lor... m i reali cheatin on their feelins? DO i reali noe wat i wan? or wat im doin or not? DaMn!

Things sort of got too serious... i told him things... actuali more than wat i shld haf... it came to such an extend where HH jus said y dun we jus not contact each other for awhile... n i was like sad n sort of like hurt... had tt achin feelin in my heart... the last i went thru tt feelin was like last yr... wats gettin into me manz! Started to tell him how i felt n all.. didnt tell it to him b4... cos wasnt sure of things n didnt wan him to pin too much hope since eything was so uncertain n all... aft hearin wat i had to saw he started to sound so sad depressed n dejected tt to a point i tot i heard him tear! Kinda got more sad n all esp since i was the cos of wat he was feelin n goin thru.... Shld haf said this to u when i was on the phone with u...

"I'm reali sorrie n sad tt such a thing happened... Didnt wan things to turn out this way.... Didnt mean to hurt u n make u so sad n confused... Treasured the time we spent... Although i may haf said alot of things to u... ultimately i reali hope tt u'd nt said wat u did n wish tt things wld haf been able to continue as b4...." *Not sure y but i haf this feelin tt the conversation we hd was to be the last we will haf for a long time....* Had my reason when i said NO aft u made yr decision n asked to still stay in contact... u noe y i said no... explained to u many times... didnt want u to get even more hurt n sad... feel tt i noe u well enaf lor... i was rite abt many thing n also the things i sad were all correct... esp the part in u makin tt committment.... Reali felt so depressed n all yesterday when i heard how u were like n all... n even today *xin xuan* *cross my fingers n toes if need be tt it wldnt be the last.....* Felt abit distant fr u oredi.... i dunno y... mayb cos of the msgs i rec'd fr u today... it sort of doesnt haf tt warm feelin anymore... nor were the msgs frequent....

I tink... nah i guess its beta to keep away from such things at times... at least no one wld get hurt n all... : (

Anyway i dun wanna talk abt it liaos... more depressed onli... ArGh!!! : ( Anyway the course today went well... wasnt as borin as how i tot it wld haf been... hmm.... but there wasnt anyone the same age as us... evyone was like aunties!!! BeH TaHan! Went Compass Point with roro n met up with LianHoon for dinner... Updated her on the recent happenings... n she too was surprised.... expected la... walked ard for awhile n came back home... tts y decided to beta starte updatin b4 too many things happen... tink i'll end here for now... too many pple buggin me now... cant reali concentrate wat i wanna n focus on my tots... but i guess this is the main bulk of it.... m anticipatin for the course to end tmw... den i can start pamperin n njoyin myself...

Chitra: Eh darlin... heard u not joining us ah? Haiz.... nvm den... the next time ya.... Miss YA!!! On n Mdm too... kekek... C ya guys on mon ya... :)

Jimo: Heard another of yr fren joinin us ah? Hmmm.... wonder wat u're up to...wahaha... :P k la... cya soon... Miss U too... :)


I can't take it, wat m I waitin 4? My heart's still breakin & I Miss U even more. I can't fake it The way I cld b4...

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

..:: TiRiNg DaY ::..

Aaahhh..... finally... been out since 8am in the mornin. Went to cheche's new plc at sengkang to sort of like official shift-in... had to prepare the charcoal n stuffs like tt.. Hmmm... so tired wor.. after settin down, we had breakfast n left abt an hr later to drop my aunt at her plc since gavin had to prepare for school... decided to go Tampiness Mall. Walked ard n decided to gointo Dorothy Perkins to c if they had any new stocks... ended up buyin this black top which i've decided to wear for my cousin's weddin next wk... ekeke... :P i guess is looked beta too... haha..

Anyway walked ard for awhile n went back to fetch my aunt. den proceeded to Joo Chiat Complex since she haf to get her kebaya for the weddin... choose sme not too bad ones n my aunt tried the 1 i chose for her... kekek.. hmm... looked not too bad actuali... *my taste not bad sia... esp for smeone who doesnt noe hw to appreciate such things* Hee... den came the task of selectin the sarong to go with it... Alamak!! I tell u... Kepala sakit manz.. all the sarong looked the same to me... din reali noe how to match both cos it wasnt like complementin each other... Haha... was like browsing thru the cabinat filled with sarongs... the more i saw the more sakit my kepala... haha... den chanced upon this particular sarong n it sort of looked nice to me... god noes y oso when i haf been like lookin at dozens of sarongs oredi... Anyway.. passed it to my aunt n told her to try it together with the top... SurPriSingLy.... It looked kinda nice.... hahaha.... den more i looked at it the more i liked it! Piangz eh... 1st time siaz! Haha...

While all these was happening my cheche was like lookin at this particular top n was contemplatin whether or not to try it... i was like alamak... try onli mahz... need to tink so much mehz? Haha... so she was like yalor... n went to try... n guess wat? It looked nice on her.. kekek... she was like not too bad hor... eh but do i looked old like those bibik not? I was like for goodness sake la... u dun... den she was like oh ok.... i was askin her wat shw wld be wearin for her tea reception on her weddin day n she said she bought this dress... i was like.... hmmm..... eh y dun u wear a kebaya instead... sure look nicer n grand so to speak... she was like not a bad idea hor.. but tts if i find a sarong to go with this la... so there i was assigned to find for a sarong... alamak... i can faint... my eyes was like crossin oredi... hee... in the end we cldnt find one cos it either looked not to bad but it made her look like a bibik or it was jus totally off... haiz... i was like eh y not go dwn n get those kind of satin material n jus get her to saw a sarong skirt for u la... may look not too bad lehz... so we went off to get the material n all... took the necessary measurements n paid for evyting... kaoz... i cld haf bought my LV siaz! *HeArtAcHe* but it was worth it la.. anyway weddin once in a lifetime mahz... tt is for majority of the pple la... kekeke... :P

went for lunch... was famished manz... kekek... aft tt went back to my aunts plc to take a rest b4 goin back to my cousins plc n den back home.. piangz... was like totally shacked out sia... slept in the car on the way back den copntinued my nap when i reached my aunt's plc...beh tahan sia... ended up with like onli 30 min of nappin... n was even more slpy aft tt... the weather made it worst! SO COOLIN n COZY lehz.... *sIghZ*

when i got home i was like damn... im awake oredi... arGh!!! Tis always happens when i get back! *HmPf!!!* went opp with cheche n ended up at shop n save since we had no where to go to... we were like aiya jus walk walk n c c lor... BUT we ended up buyin almost like 7 bags of groceries... wahlauz... my hand almost dropped off manz... kekeke... after dinner we took a drive to cheche's plc again since papa hasnt been there yet... *sIgHz*

Tired wor... dunno if i'll be able to slp earli... I seriously hope so... need to be up at 7 to meet roro for our course at SPC tmw... damn... :sick:

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

*** JoKe oF tHe DaY ***

Came home n was hafin dinner when mummy stated talkin to me... kekek.... she was started to relay her encounter she had earlier on at Hougang Green n i was like shocked, surprised n cldnt stop laffin after hearing what she had said... :P

She was like goin there to get the charcoals for tmw when this young couple approached her n asked her for help. The bf was like auntie auntie can help me not? My mum was like y wat happen? N the guy was like my gf la... she's in pain now cos her inside is bleeding... can borrow $50 fr u or not? Jus then tt gf of his started bendin dwn n squattin n was like goin ah... oh... auntie pls help la... me reali pain... my mum was like since she in pain y u dun bring her to the doc upstairs... the guy was like cannot... her this pain must go to the one at Toa Payoh wan... n my mum was like gong gong like tt.... didnt catch the lie n said sorrie i cannot help u... i haf not enaf cash with me.... onli haf enaf to buy wat i need... hahaha.... den the ger was like auntie ah u haf Cash online or not? can draw? My mum was like sorrie dun haf.... Goodness! These pple actuali had the audacity to even suggest such a thing...

Den she was like u wan i can onli lend u $10. I was like Wat!? Alamak.... n my mum was ike wait... u listen first... so i continued with dinner.... she was like how to get my money back... den they guys as like i give u my address when ok i call u to return the money... my mum was like u beta give me yr contact nos instead... n guess wat? both said they didnt haf any telephone nor HP nos.? Oh PLS MANZ!!! Cant believe my mum was like so blurblock siaz.... Jus as the guy was writing his add... my mum was like tinkin aiya even if cant take back the $10 den take it as doint charity lor.... at tt moment i was like wat charity? If u feel so genourse u may wan to donate wateva excess u haf to me den... kekeke... :P

Anyway... jus den, this woman came towards them n shouted Hey u 2! wat r u both doin here still? n my mum was like auntie y? wat happened... den tt woman was like i lent these 2 $30! n they are still here...my mum was like aiyoz like tt u both must be up to smething... cheatin pple of their money... den she said no i wont help u... n quicky walked away... the moment she did, the guy started becomin hysterical n started shouting.... my mum was like alamak... beta quickly away! Thanks to tt woman she din get con.

Aiyoz... I was like mummy ah! How cld u be so naive n believe wat they say? SO obvious they were all out to con n cheat u of yr money lehz! Aiyoz... my sis was like alamak u cld haf called 999 or 995 or bring them up to the clinic or wateva mahz... n i was like anyway wat so special abt Toa Payoh tt they've gotta go there n onli there tt she cld be cured? N pls la... Toa Payoh Hospital no longer is there... where they wanna go? CLinic is it? Pengz manz... we all had a good laff n we were like mummy ah... pls la next time dun so blur n kena con... jus den the shots for crime watch came on air n van was like EH! Mummy u beta watch crime watch more often la... mayb it might help u... den u wont get conned so easily... Hahaha.... cannot take it manz... mummy mummy..... tsk tSk TSK... still can tell us to be careful when we go out n not to get conned n cheated by pple outside... haha... c la now... dunno whose the one who almost got cheated n conned... :P

YeAh! Last day of the week in ofc.... : )

ArGh!!! Here i was typin my start of today's entry n roro asked me something n i went to my template to get it BUT forgot to save the things i typed!!!! ALAMAK.... kena start all over again lehz... heng onli 1 short paragrapgh or else i tink i can faint!!!

Came to work superly late today.... reached abt 9.10am or so siaz! Tink i broke my own personal record oredi... kekek... :P cannot help it la... damn tired... so lazy t come to work oso... haiz.. dragged myself all the way here manz... but alrite la... Heng april n gloria wasnt in today or else sure buah kaya n as usual April's gonna gif me tt look of hers again... *pEngZ*

the day started well enaff... hee... rec'd msgs fr Garry in the morning while he was waiting for the ferry to sail off to Batam... haha... crazy guy... can come n msg me "Goodbye sentoa, Goodby Singapore, Goodbye my dear Rachel" Alamak... i tell u, when i read tt particular msg i was like HuH!? Has this guy gone bonkers oredi or wat sia! hAha... den Joel called me during his break n the poor guy sounded so tired n slpin... tink he was like stoink oredi... hee...

Anyway, me started settling down n all den aft tt went down for breakfast with roro... the passed quite well.... nothing much happened at work the whole day... m still in ofc now updating my blog... keke... tink its like bcme a daily routine for me n roro oredi la.. cHaM!!! :P

Started my entry n Garry msged me.... askin me if XXXXX was who he tot it was n i was like yeah... den he was like Hw come its her? So many gers he had to choose her?? Hmmm.... C! My sentiments alike! n He was like goin wat the fuck is he doing? HaHa!!! I've asked myself tt qn a hundred times....den he was like nvm la cant help it since both of them single... blah blah blah... den i was like wat both single? was like tinking to myself didnt i say anything abt wat she was in in my earlier entry? so asked roro n she was like eh no lehz u like no mention... *HmPf* I actuali forgot...

Anyway i msged him n told him tt she wasnt single n wat hot soup XXXXX was gettin herself into. Den he was like so? Not blood-related oso mahz... n i was like so wat not blood-related? Her "Bro" is married n his wife is expectin lehz... Me n roro reali dunno wat XXXXX is tinkin oso... had previously talked abt it with her even b4 she was with him n aft smetime she got fed-up with us n brushed us off... den each time we talked abt it she was like puttin the blame on the wife... alamak.... it was so obvius but i dun understand y we didnt see it last time... *SiGhz* Anyway Garry was like askin no one talked to her mehz n i was like too lazy to compose such a long msg n asked him to come in here to read... hee... :P

Roro was like updatin her blog n she said she had something in there for me n i was like oh okie... me go take a look... here's wat she left for me.... Thanks Sweetie... Me reali touched... Almost cry wor... : ) Hee.... suddenly haf this tot in my mind regardin my blog... tink wanna go try it out on the template c if it works... Muahaha....

Here is something 4 u:



Sometimes the one u love turns out to be the one
who hurts u most, and sometimes the friend
who takes you into his arms and cries
when u cry turns out to be
the love u never knew u wanted

Monday, September 22, 2003

~~~ DaZed & NuMb ~~~

Got up earli tis morning... cldnt reali slp well today... kept wakin up every nw n then... Haiz... Guess it expectd lor... : ( Anyway, called Roro to wak her up n in the end she was still late for work today. After i left home decided tt i was too lazy to walk to the kpoitiam at the back to get my fav black carrot cake so settled for the bee hoon instead. Called Chitra n asked her if she wanted anyting but she said no. So bought 2 packets for roro n myself n oso Anja's Vitamins for the week...

Was in the cab when i received Chitra's msg... she msged me "Pls dun tell me tt gers XXXXX." I was like almost reachin ofc so i told her tt i wld talk to her later since i was oredi turnin in... decided to msg XXXXX since i was supposed to pass her my bank account no. so tt she cld transfer the cash to me... went to punch card for roro myself an anja... but had to make 2 trips since there were like a few others who came in to punch their cards the same time as me... troublesome! Cant they jus haf tt stupid punch machine thing in our rooms instead?

Finally settled down in ofc n Chitra n myself looked at each other n she asked me the same qn again... i was like wat do u tink? She was like oh pls dun tell me its reali her... den i told her yeah it is n she was liek OMG!!!!! I was like yeah....tell me abt it la... imagine how i felt when i realised i was rite... *siGhz* decided to go dwn earlier since we both need a fag badly... so msged anja to meet us dwnstairs... Was kinda cold towards Joel when he msged me... dunno y oso. Normally i'd be glad to receive a ms fr him..... mayb i was jus in 1 of my mood swings... but wat to expect after such shockin news?

Anyway we went down... ate drank n finally got to fag my 1st stick of the day... goodness the both of us were like faggin non-stop... haiz... noe its not gd but reali needed to de-stress manz... :S Anja n Jymmie finally came down n we wer elike talkin abt it n we told anja tt lots of things happened when she wasnt ard for the 2 days tt she was on course... tried our best to update her... dne told them wat happened since jymmie hasnt read my blog yet... This guy ah... made me like repeat myself almost like 4 times or so before the whole damn thing actuali sank in n he got wat i was sayin n who i was referin to... his reaction was drastic... even said had to slap XXXX to wake her up... kekeke... cannot ahan this jymmie... :P

Anyway were like dwnstairs for like almost an hr... but heck care la... not bothered... dun even haf the bloody mood to come to work in the 1st place... like a blardy zombie in ofc... didnt do much emails oso... half the time i was like replyin not knowin wat i replied.... haiz... was like doin n doin but the stats wasnt increasing at all.... frus manz...

Roro was like doin superly duperly fast... almost twice the no. i did manz... i was like wei u rushin for wat huh? n she was like kekek... i wanna update my blog later mahz... Gee... cannot tahan manz... Oh YA!!! Madam's kinda like started her's too but.... err... there's like nothing much in it lehz... kekeke.... nebermind madam... confirm u will haf lots to put wan... wahaha... hmm... still no reply from XXXXX at all... wonder wat she's tinkin n goin thru also...

Anja started emailin us... said she's read our blog n all den we started emailin each other... talkin abt frenz... bfs... relationships... how we can never trust a guy... how complacent they all get n how gers will still do anything for their guy... how we neglect our closest frens jus for them... we all felt tt it wasnt worth the while...

I personally feel that its jus not worth it to lose a gd fren to a guy tt u maybe loving at tt point of time. BUT, when u're in a relationship, at times unintentionally u tend to neglect yr frens.... its inevitable... u forget ur frenz den u come cryin back to them when things btw u n ur bf dun turn out the way u expect it to be n u hope tt things btw u n ur fren will continue as where u left off... tts wrong lor.. i mean by neglecting them u've oredi built tt invisible gap in yr frenship... n to catch up fr where u left off is not easy... nt tt its impossible but more of like difficult...

Haven gotten the time to update my blod at all... wanted to but i knew tt if i were to start meddlin with things in here i wldnt continue with my emails... so haiz... did emails lor... after awhile went behind to fag with the others again.. cannot tahan sia...

Time passed kinda fast..... without us knowing it was oredi lunch time... came back to Hugang Green with roro to pluck our eyebrows... Hectic week for me manz... another day at work tme den i'll be on-leave on wed n on 1 1/2days on thur n fri with roro n aft the course we're gonna be doin smething to our hair n ta-da!!!! the long awaited outing... tink i reali need tt break... feelin so stressed up n all... time to un-wind...

Had lunch den sat outside mac n started eatin... started talkin to roro abt wat happened... told her i reali cldnt swollow wat has happened... n it isnt cos i haven gotten over chris n all... i know i haf... but the thing here is tt he has feelins n love my bestest of fren n is even willin to commit n wait for her n stuffs like tt... damn it! felt so betrayed... then we started talkin if it was smeone else it wldnt haf had such an impact like now... i wld even be happy for him... haiz... but not now lor... things btw me n XXXXX will definately be different now... Roro kept sayin tt time will chg things... it takes time n all... n at first i was like ya maybe lor... but the more i tot abt it the surer i got tt it wldnt be... i know myself very well lor... i mean i know tt things would neva be the same anymore... as it is... i oredi haf tt doubt n all oredi... i know its not XXXXX fault but i guess its natural tt i behave this way n all... Still no reply fr XXXXX...

Went bak to ofc ard 2.30pm but didnt haf the mood to do mails but LL... was like doin emails the whole day n also emailin Vincent... he recently started wkin for Singtel... got to know him via irc oso... he was like hey how come u no mention abt me wan? At least me evyday oso email u in ofc mahz.... hahaha... so there... i've mentioned... happy now? :P

Anyway by the time i finally hit out quota is was like slightly after 5 oredi... haiz... started meddlin with my blog but didnt haf the mood to make any entry... haiz... so surfed the net looking for animations instead... so u can c... sme changes oredi... kekek... : ) not to gawdy or orbiang is it?

Found a few sute animations so saved them... evyone left oredi except for roro n myself as usual... was like meddlin here n there... found the command for the background but no matter where i put it it jus doesnt change the whole damn thing... got slightly fedup... same for the music too... couldnt find the song i wanted... damn... haf the song at home though... tried to upload to my angelfire... its still uploading lor... hope it works.... this blardy thing is seriously gettin on my nerve sia... argh... : (

Haf been msgin with Garry since lunch... kinda glad he msged me... *siGhz* its been kinda long since we last msged more than 10 xs or even talked on the phone wor... reali miss talkin to him n all... i guess tts cos i reali was fond of him lor n things jus ended... dun wanna tink too much abt it oso la... :S anyway he's still msgin me... n its started to look like things r becomin normal between us n goin back to how it was like... hope so lor... was abt to leave ofc n rec'd XXXXX's reply... said she transfered the money to me. went to check n told her tt ive received it. den she was like sayin she doesnt tink she'll be joinin us on fri since she has to work on sat n also tt she isnt in a very good mood... OF COS she wld be... aft all tt's happened.... anyway showed roro her msg n she was like... so its settled la... looks like XXXXX wont be goin n chris oso wont be goin... so good u can njoy yrself... i was like ya hope so...

Came home n had dinner... was still msgin garry... talkin abt stuffs n wat happened b4 n he was like I Miss U Alot... I was like askin him so if i dun call u u wld neva call me is it? n instead of answerin me he asked me the same thing... goodness! guys! anyway asked him the same thing again n he was like No La.... den i was like is it? den u waiting for when den u'll call me lehz... cldnt quite remember wat he said... it doesnt matter anyway... was like msgin him n all den he was like me go bath first talk to u aft tt... n i was like wokie...

So here m updatin my blog n aft awhile he was like eh i need to slp oredi lehz cos need to be up at 5.30am cos takin the 1st ferry to Batam... talk to u another time k? i was like *sIghz* k lor.. den u beta go slp earli... n he was like u oso slp earli k? Muack... love u darlin.... i was like tinking to myself FWAH!!!! He like very long time no say such things to me liaos lehz.... kekeke... n i was like k will try lor....n he said if cant slp den call me lor... but i dun tink i will lor... dunno y oso... mayb cos im neva in the habit of wakin smeone up fr their slp unless i cant help it lor... hee.... hope i'll be able to slp lor...

YEAH!!! I managed to upload the Collin Raye song into my angelfire liaos... kekeke... ho say! Tmw me go ofc ask chitra abt the background n music thingy liaos... hehe... :P tmw suddenly seems to be brighter oredi... esp since its gonna be my last day at ofc... hmmm... tink me beta clear all my f/u oso or else my darlin sure curse n swear... kekeke... :P Hmm... i guess ive updated most of wat i wanna say oredi... nothing much left to say oso... dun feel like slpin now lehz... but dunno wat to do... Hmmm.... maybe surf to find more things to put in my blog...


A POeM ThAT iS SO TrUe
=======================


Never say I love you
If you don't really care

Never talk of feelings
If they aren't really there

Never hold my hand
If you mean to break my heart

Never say forever
If you ever plan to part

Never look into my eyes
If you are telling me a lie

Never say hello
If you think you'll say goodbye

Never say that I'm THE one
If you dream of more than me

Never lock up my heart
If you don't have the key

Sunday, September 21, 2003

~~~ Mixed Feelins... Depressed... FUCKED UP... ~~~

It's abt 9.55pm now n ive jus fininshed dinner... *BuRp* Kekek... : ) seriously feel like pukin now... Argh... HeLp~~~ Its been a long time since i last ate this much for dinner.... had chicken, beef caserole, steamed mixed vege, my fav steam corn, baked beans n mushroom soup.... Goodness! I feel like puking oredi... : / N my mum was like sayin theres still mixed cocktail for desert! PiaNgz....

Did some chores n escaped to the study to update my blog... hehe... :P or else god noes wat my dad's gonna ask me to do next... kekek... Oops! Speakin of the devil... he's jus walked into the living room... Hee... : )

Anyway... like wat i said earlier, smeone reali did msg me aft i went offline.... GaRry! Of all pple... : ) glad he did though... hee... asked me wat i was doin n i said tt i jus updated my blog n was jus wondering wat to do. Kekeke.... Asked him wat he was doin at Kallang n he said to see the Kallang Rally Spring... Hmmm.... WoW! Must haf been great wat with all the cars there.... *SiGhz* Hee... always wanted to go there again since the last i went there but neva got the chance too.... *HmPf!!* Anyway according to him... "it was lousy. see until sian Me go race beta." Hee.... told him "Ok lor... U go race lor ;P den i go see..." Haha... exchanged a few more harmless sms... den i was like msgin him hmmm.... feel like i dun reali noe u now... its like we've bcme strangers to each other... n he was like y? dun like tt la dear... n i was like dun like tt? isnt it true? i tot i knew u but nw im doubtin myself... haiz...

Tink somewhere in between i must haf dozed off cos the next thing i knew... I heard my cousins voice... n it was almost 7pm... was talkin to my aunt n all den she was like askin abt my cheche's weddin n stuff... den i asked her wat she was gonna be wearing n she said she hasnt tot of it yet. Told her tt mummy was gonna be wearin her kebaya which she jus bought at Novena Sq on sat. Spent a bombshell on tt siaz! Told her the sarong looked almost like some weed thing.... haha.... in the end the 3 of us went upsyairs n mummy showed her the top... she was like Hmmm.... ok... not too bad... at least the top n sarong matches... haha.... mumm was like goin on n on abt the color n all... i was like ya ya... ive heard tt b4... nxt pls... :P

Told my aunt abt the 2 pairs of shoes i recently bought with RORO :P n she was like hmmm.... not bad... told her where the plc was n she was like I noe which store u're referin to... n said tt she recently had this seminar thingy at suntec n during her lunch breaks on one of the days, she n another teacher fren of hers gave some excuse tt they werent hungry n sneaked to do some shoppin... Ya rite Koko! Some crap excuse huh?! Haha... :P den they happened to be in tt same store n both of them say 2 pairs which they like but didnt get... n they psyched each other by sayin tt Nah we cant get it rite cos we haf the seminar to go back to n we were supposed to be only window-shoppin n not gettin anything... Hahaha.... RORO! I tink we haf to pyscho ourselves the next time we go out oso lehz... but i tink it gonna be very hard for the both of us... Hor... hahah... :P Eh RO ah... my auntie likes the pair tt the both of us bought lehz! Hahah.... she's kinda tepted to go get it aft tryin it on... hee... :P~~

My aunt was like "so wat are u gonna be wearin on tt day?" den i was "like pants n top lor" den showed it to her n she was like "hmmm... shld get smething slightly more for evenin wear..." n i was like "Huh?! this cant ah...?" she said it was ok but it wld be beta if it was of a softer material... alamak... headache sia... "RORO... SOS!!! Need to go to one of the shops at Suntec...." den showed her the denim skirt i bought... n she wsa like eh this oso not too bad to go with the black top i bought... Hmm... headache sia... oh well... still haf abt 2 weeks to tink.... :P~~

Showed her the top i bought den i was like hmmm.... shld i wear one of it to work tmw? kekek.... Roro msged me earlier to say tt the pantie we bought the other fr truimph was very compfy n all... kekeke... den i was like is it? Wokie... mayb i'll wear one of mine tmw... Haha... :P~~ den i was like so watcha wearin tmw huh? told her i maybe wearin the denim skirt i bought... : ) but not too sure yet.... haiz... was tinking of wearin one of the long sleeve tops lehz... but tt will depend on the weather tmw la... kekeke.... if its hot den i can forget abt it... tink i'll die fr heat stroke if i reali wear it manz... wat with us being at the dockin area evy lunch time.... piangz eh....

kekek.... den showed my aunt my toenails n she was like not bad... how much u paid for it n i was like "Excuse moi! I did it myself ok...." n she was like "Is it? Im impressed... do for me oso la..." Hahah... so my pedicure session started n lasted all the wat till almost 9pm... Hmm.... i must say it looked kina nice... hahaha... tink i'll do the same shade n desgn the next time... :P~~ my 2 cousines were like wats tt u're puttin... wahlauz y so many things to do wan... u sure it can last for 2 wks? At the rate mummy haf her PE n all dun tink can last... n my uncle was like aiya wat for all these? Use yr shoes den can c oredi... Goodness! MEN! Their testeron level's reali way up there siaz... wonder how my auntie can tahan being the onli woman at home... Hahaha....

Hmm... Garry msged me again jus b4 i was abt to start dinner askin me wat i was doin... but tis time there was a dear at the end of the msg... I was like Fwah! long time no c tt in his msgs wor... told him tt i was abt to start dinner n he was like so late? n i told him y n asked wat he was doing n he was like oh ok n said tt he was checkin his mails.... since i was oredi sittin at the table, told him tt i'd call him later n he said ok....

M in the midst of updatin my blog n online in ICQ... cannot tahan.... decided to chg my status to Invisible... was oso online in MSN... jus when i was abt to contiue updatin... my ex love of my life msged me.... *SiGhz* Co-incidentally... Bonnie n Clyde's playin in my winamp now! Fark! My mood suddenly changed... Here i m updatin my blog n at the same time im talkin to him.... damn it... there's so many thing i wanna say... so much difference of feelins in me now... Damn it!!!!!

*SiGh* Y the fuck is wat he's tellin me affectin me this way? Damn it! I feel depressed n wanna cry suddenly lehz... :"( Nbz manz... Chris jus said hes's very moody now n asked me how. When i probed further....he said he fell in love wif sme1 WHOM should not be in love wif.... aRgh! I m like stunned when i read tt... had to read it a few times b4 it got registered in my head... Fucker! Den i asked him who it was n he said i dun feel like mentioning... so i was like do i noe tt person n he said no. Here i was tryin to be tt "CLOSE FREN" os his askin him y he said tt he shldnt be lovin her n in my mind i was like "stop being so concerned n behavin as if this doesnt matter anyting to u"....

He was like i met her yesterday n told her evything.... n i was like oic... ok... n wat she said? Den he said tt not until yesterday did he noe tt she has a bf whose married n his wife is pregnant! I was like haiz... wat to do? Love is blind....pple will do anything for love... went on askin him if he knew her long n he said ya... i was like tinking to myself who is tt person??? n immediately someone jus flashed in my mind... i dunno y i tot of her 1st oso.... : (

Den he said he's feelin shit now... *HA!*Den he said smething which made me madder!!! He had the audacity to tell me "i tink i will jz wait for her...wat u tink??????????" Bloody farker!! I dun believe he asked me tt! Im like tinkin to myself now... "Ya rite... i maybe close to u n all but I was still yr previous love whom u sort of DUMPED! N Y? Bcos u said u neva believe in loving smeone so much n neva will believe in marriage n all tt crap! But wat the fark r u tellin me now tt u'll wait for this Bitch? n has the cheek to ask me how somemore?? Wat the fark is he tinking manz?!?" Damn it!!!

He's like now tellin me tt he's not been in a sober mind 4 many mths liao n has done everting to escape reality. Also said tt he's taken or done watever that can make him steam... i was like askin him like wat? n he said everyting except cocaine, herione & ice. He went on sayin tt oni when he's not sober than he can relax. Still can tell me he very tong ku! NB! Wat the fark he tinks i m? Some person who doesnt haf any feelins... wat the fark manz! >:-(

Asked him if he loves her alot n he said "dunno how 2 say... i tink its a mistake 4 mi lor... i shldn't haf let my feeling loose again... how????" OMG!!! I told him... "haiz... darlin i reali dunno wat to tell u lehz...." Den he asked me "u wan to noe the very true reason y i go put tattoo?" n i said "to feel the pain... n to let the pain over take the other pain." n he was lile "Yah..."... *SiGh* told him "not to be silly n asked is tt worth it?" n he said "worth or not i oso dunno....... i oso dun wan to but wat can i do... i ask her to choose between long life promises & short term... she say she wan short term cuz she very happy now..... wat can i say......" Nb manz.... im feelin worse by the second.... :"(

Den i asked him "Wat abt u? wat wld u choose den?" He said... "i tink i will jt wait....long life." I de asked him "wait for wat? u wan long life promises???" N he was like "wait till that guy leave her... yah...i oso dunno y i will wan that.... last time i not like this 1..... u noe mi..... i very scare of commitment 1.... i oso dunno....... i tink i will go crazi soon" HA! Wat the fark manz! I didnt noe wat to reply after readin all this so i jus went "i c...." n he said "Wat u c?????" n i replied "i seriously dunno wat to say... n i c wat u've jus told me.." n he is like now saying... "I starting to feel like a zombie... no feeling..... no expression... no mood change.... nothin.... i jt wk & wk.... than steam.... than try to forget everyting... I wish i can jt fall dwn n meet an accident than dun wake up.... i tink oni tis way i can feel relieve." Fuck it.... "He's spouting crap now....."

Fuck manz... i feel like im a fuckin hypocrite nw... here i m feelin like fuck n im still tryin to console him... Damn it! Still can ask if he's joinin me on fri! Damn it manz! Wat m i tinking? Hmm.... y m i feelin all these? I've gotten over him oredi wat?! I guess its jus tt fact tt he was the one who broke up with me givin me all tt crap excuses of his n now this is happenin... mayb i'm jus Bu fu.... erm... how do i say this in eng? Err.... fuck la... wat a time to get a mental block.... its like cant swollow wat has jus been said to me...

NB!!! I keep hafin tis feelin tt tt person whom i guessed is rite!!! NB! He jus simply doesnt want to tell me who! He's finally said tt i noe tt person.... but he jus doesnt wanna tell me who she is?! True i may not be able to do or change anything but tts not the point here... the point is tt i wanna noe who! No.... its more like i need to noe who she is... :"( M still askin him who she is..... i tink its more like im beggin him to tell me... nva haf so-called begged anyone in my life b4.... i cant believe tt im doin it now! Told him since he's told me 99% of it oredi y cant he jus tell me who tt person is... she makes up tt 1% tt i need to know to complete the whole story!!! He can come n tell me so wat if i tell u who she is... argh..... told him who i felt it was n he said "even if its her so wat" n when i said she i was rite.... he said "no...a promise is a promise"

Fuck it man! He can ask me y i m so irritated! Tink im losing it!!! Damn it... told him.. "u also promised me alot of things but u neva fulfilled yr promise. nw im jus askin u tis one last qn who tt person is n u cant tell me." He jus replied "sorrie..." I told him "Wats the point of sayin sorrie" n he said "i noe wo dui bu ci ni sorrie" :""(

My hunch is rite!!! Chris finally admitted who tt person was.... Fuck manz! : ( THIS FEELS WORSE DEN ANYTHING ELSE!!!! (Msged Joel but no reply... HH's aslp.... Damn it... feel like talkin to smeone...) We continued talkin... i reali need a smoke now! 1st time i feel like smokin when im at home....

Anyway, we continued our conversation... told him tt i suspected something a few months back... which was abt the same time he told me tt he realised tt he started liking her.... he asked me how come n i said a hunch at first den suspected den confirmed. But no one knew abt tis... cos i neva told anyone... not a single soul... he asked how i knew n i said "the way u treated her... u shld noe... my hunch is almost accurate wan.... tt time when we broke of i oso said its bcos of u likein another n i was oso correct when i guessed who tt ger was" den he was like "how i treat her???" n i said "differently fr last time... almost the same way of how u treated me... esp tt day at williams bday.... the way u talked to her... looked at her.... i jus felt it." Den he was like "how i look at her... how i talk to her?" n i told him... "the way u once looked at me....the same way u talked to me.... although u tried to put it in a jokin wat n all.... i jus felt it." N he jus said "Errr....i realli dunno y u feel it but i treat her normally mah." Told him tt he didnt n tt "mayb to others it may seem so but not me. i told u not to lie to me. but u kept sayin no." He den said "i nvr notice... i jt treat it normally." n i told him "its like tt..."

i started askin him abt tt ger n all... he said they've been together for the past 1 month... (i knew smething like tis wld happen... it was jus a matter of time....) Den he said tt he told her not to play with fire n he said ya. He told her tt she was at the losing end but she said she still chose him cos she is happy now... IS SHE REALI?!! Den he said "he has no comments n tt he is miserable but cannot do anyting... so making myself unsober is the best...." :"""( fark la... dunno wat to reply so came in here to pour my feelins... den he said "c i noe i shld not haf told u who... noe u must be crying.... sorrie"

Damn.... i jus cant seem to stop :"""( *suddenly tot of msgin Garry... contemplatin* Chris was like "now i make u sad..." nothing else for me to say but "nvm la" Den he was like "i make tings hard 4 her" n i asked "Y?" n he was like "i spoil u both frdship" told him "dun tink too much n y he said wat he did." den he was like "a wat now she must be very confuse" n when i said "y u say so?" he said "cuz she told mi she very guilty.... guilty towards mi... 4 wat i am doing to myself.... which i cannot help it... last nite i meet her i drank alot" Fuck... seems like evything now is him n her.... >:-(

I jus said " i c..... she din say anything else?" n he was like "today i sms her... i told her i will wait & this the last sms she will receive frm mi... i will not sms her again or call her so she can go on wif her happiness" Den i was like "den?" n he said "she jus keep telling mi sorrie & she is guilty." i was like "i c..." n he went on sayin "last sms means last sms...i dun wan tok 2 much... wat i wan to say i oredi say.... now its up to her... no 1 can help mi... even i oso cannot help myself... so jt fuck care... i oredi lost hope in everyting... now wking to mi is to stop mi frm tinking... my money i oso nvr spend much.... even going to book 4 car lesson i oso no mood... aarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!..... i now no mood 4 anything... i will jt keep on putting tattoo..... putting pain on my body is the oni way i can de-stress."

Im like snooked now... told him "reali dunno wat to say to u now... sorrie"

Seriously dunno wat to tink now... my mind's blank... tink i'll jus logoff nw n go lie on my bed............

Hmm.... y is it Sunday Oredi??? : (

Hmm... as usual... sunday's haf been spent at home for the past few months... kinda accustomed to it oredi... Woke up at 10+ which was considered earli by my standards... n did the 1st things i'd always do when i opened my eyes... rec'd 3 msgs... 2 fr Joel n 1 fr YiHong.... Hmm... poor guy's still sick... n feelin worse.... asked if he's taken his med or has gone to c the doc n he was like "I jus took med. goin to slp soon." Hmm.... the baby's at least takin care of himself... :P

Replied Joel n rec'd a reply fr him almost instantly... kekeke.... guess wat? The bums lazin in bed too.... kekek... decided to talk over the phone but wasnt sure if i was supposed to call or if he was supposed to call me. Anyway... since i was lazy to msg n ask him, i called instead.... Hmm... haven been talkin to both of them since fri... :s Oh well....

I was kinda quiet... dunno y oso... n he was like "r u ok?".... "Is there anything the matter? Do u haf smething u wanna say?" N i was like "Huh? Erm... nope nothing's wrong..." Anyway me oso dunno wat to say... *toink* kekeke... anyway we continued talkin n all den he was like tellin me wat happened on fri... n hw much they drank! N This moron was driving! N he had the cheek to tell me tt he drank slightly more than expected. Haiz... but not tt much to the extend tt he wasnt able to drive n all... But tts ot the point here isnt it? Reali wonder y guys dun get the point tt it isnt whether they r still sober or not aft drinkin so much. The fact was tt they had alot to drink.... Cant help to feel tt Im some sort of a parrot or maybe even a broken recorder hafin to repeat myself time n time again with different pple.... Goodness! Its reali gettin on my nerve manz... 1st there was Chris... den Melvyn... den Garry now... there's Joel... Aiyoz... so far the onli 1 is YiHong... Wonder when his time will come... hahah.... its either sooner or later... but no matter when.... Im sure the time will come.... :p hee... CONFIRM!!! There's jus been too many examples to proof me right....

Was interupted in the midst of our conversation by my sis n mum... they were preparing to go to Hougang Point to get some groceries for tonight's dinner.... *YuMmielicioUs* kekeke.... : ) Been a long time since we had my mum's overn baked chicken n steamed corn n soup...... the list goes on.... *sLuRp* Anyway... decided not to tag along since i was on the phone with Joel... so continued where we left off n told him some of the things i mentioned in my earlier entry. How i felt abt this whole thing btw us n all... whether it was for convenience sake tt since he was ard or whether i was "using" him so to speak or if I reali haf some feelings in all this for him.

Den again... wat as i supposed to tink? Confusions and contradictions aplenty each time i tink abt such thing... there's also feelins for others.... All in all... wat kind of feelins r they? Which are the right ones? Who is the right person? He put this qn across to me "I tink its not wat u wan but WHO u wan....." I guess tts right... the qn here is "Who I wan n not wat i wan" But tts THE THING! Who? *siGhz* Tts y i feel tt its pointless to keep tinking abt it... cos in the end i wldnt still noe.... i mean im not in the hurry or rush to be on a relationship... Kinda like it the way things r now.... maybe when the time comes... i'll be ready n prepared to answer all these qns... but at the meantime.... i'd rather tt things remain the way they r....

All these may seem unfair to the others... but like wat iv said to some of them.... "I noe wat im doin... if U tink or feel tt im toyin with u or tt u feel tt u need to move on n all n dun wan to hang on n wait for nothing den u tink things thru n make the decision u tink is rite. Im not here wantin u to stay or watsoeva. If u feel tt enaf is enaf n u need to move on with ur life den make tt decision. All u've gotta do is jus let me noe wats on ur mind n wat u've decided. I'll respect tt. Its not my position to tell u wat to do or ask u not to go."

I guess some understand where im comin fr n some dont. Oh well... u cant cater to every individual i guess.... Things, events n pple come n go all the time... Like wat someone said to me previously. "Time doesnt stop to wait for u... U've gotta move along with it or u'll lose out in life" Hmmm... wonder how tt persons gettin along now... kekek.... i guess he'll be contactin me sometime soon since it's been awhile since i last heard fr him.... kekeke.... : )

Hmmm.... anyway was talkin abt the drinkin thingy with Joel n told him to recall wat ive said to him previously abt it... But according to him being a STM person.....he cldnt recall wat ive said... *SiGhz* Terrible lehz.... Kekek.... anyway told him to go tink abt it n tell me wat ive said later tonight n tt ive gotta go haf lunch... was kinda reluctant to end the calll but.... Oh ya! This monkey was like brushing his teeth while talkin to me on the phone... Alamak... i tink i cld haf jus fainted manz! Hahaha.... there was once when sme wld be talkin to me n goin to get smething to drink in the kitchen. N one who would be in the toilet gettin along doin their business.... *sTinKo* n another instance when they'll be takin a leak while on the phone.... den here's the latest addition.... Goodness! Not shy man these guys! Hahaha.... wonder wats gonna be next on the list... wahaha... :P~~

Decided to call Reds to book any appt with Vincx on friday for Roro n myself. But guess wat? the recoptionist told me tt Vinxx was no longer with Reds! Damn! This is the 2nd time such a thing was happening sia... 1st it was kelvin from the Reds at Bugis n now Vincx. Piangz! How? Aiyoz.... *Headache la*

Was contemplating whether to call or msg roro den decided tt callin her would be the beta option. Called her home but this WOMAN simply refused to answer the call! Goodness! ArGh! So msged her instead... hmmm.... received a call from her shortly after.... as usual i was rite! the slpin beauty was still in bed... hahaha.... started discussing with her our options n she was like "Alamak how come our mouth reali so sway? Jus the otehr day we were ike sayin tt skali when we call to book the appt they tell us tt Vincx is not there. N true enaf it happened! Aiyoz...." I was like "Yalor... how sway can we get...." Hmmm....

Kept askin each other how how how.... hahaha.... n as always we neva reali got an answer... Haha...smetimes i reali wonder if evyone was like us... askin each other how n all n still stuck at the same spot... kekeke.... Anyway i was like "It's either we stick to reds or we go to another salon... but if it's gonna be reds im not too sure whether to go back to the one at taka bcos tt pple there r reali snobs.... cannot tahanz sia..." den she was like " or we go to another one lor... since we reali tryin our luck with the stylist den it wldnt make any diff" kekeke.... :P

Den we cldnt decide which salon to try out... shld we go to ProTrim at Taka? Or wat? nother point we had to keep in mind was tt since we'd be goin out tt day... it was beta to go somewhere centralised...a t least we wldnt haf to travel up n back down again.... MaFan Wor!!! In the end aft all the hustle n all.... we decided to stick with reds but we'd be goin back to the one in Bugis where I first went. At least the pple there r friendlier n all... So it was settled.... We;d be callin reds tmw at work... :)

Talked abt wat to wear n all on tt day... den we ended the call since the slpin beauty had to go wash her clothes... kekeke... :P cldnt decide whether to come online at first but decided to since there wasnt anything much left to do... Oops... jus remembered tt ive not replied a frens sms... kekek.... Kinda slpy... tink i'll go join my sis in front of the tube n watch the newer version of Journey to the West.... Who noes... i may den take a nap or end up msgin or talkin to smeone.... ; )

Saturday, September 20, 2003

...:: ReFLecTion TiMe ::...

Trip down to Toa Payoh was kinda so so. Walked ard with m mum to pass time... She reali cuckoo siaz... forgot to switch her hp mode back to the norm n ther ei was callin her more than 7 times n she didnt realised tt i was tryin to reach her. Thank god i bumped into her in front of 1 of the shops while i was walking there. Hmm... onli when i asked her how come she didnt ans my call did we realise tt it was on silent mode. The ironic thing was tt she ws holdin on to her hp the whole time... Haha... :P

Msg HH to ask him where he was at cos the last time he told me he wld be goin to his fren shop opening at Toa Payoh. Hmm... He replied tt he was still here n asked where i was n i said the same. Den asked me sme other stuff which i cld quite remember. Onli remember him askin if i wanted to come down to meet him. N iwas like kinda confused... kekek... msged awhile... Was so thirsty den decided to go get a drink with my mum. Orange Julius here i come~~~ Kekek... bought my mum 1 orange n also a bacon n cheese hotdog... keke... n another drink for myself.

HH called n i was like tryin to keep my change n get his call at the same time... haha... asked me where i was n all n i was like huh? Didnt i tell u tt i was at Toa Poyah jus now? n he was like kinda surprised for a moment... asked if he got my reply when i said same n he was like OH! I tot u said same n meant tt u were still at home! Alamak! This guy ah... kekeke... can be so sotong sometimes. Anyway talked to him for awhile n said smething which he cldnt quite get wat i said so had to repeat a few times den my mum was like alamak... yr fren "per kak". n i started laffin... had to explain to HH tt my mum meant tt he was hard of hearing... kekeke... :P

Intended to get shampoo fr tt shop but den couldnt decided which to get... Haiz... anyway had to go for mass at 6pm so din haf much time to spend dilly-dallying at the shop. Was supposed to meet my dad in church but he was caught up at the last minute... As usual... so he said he'd try to come pick us up aft mass. Hmm... ever since he got transferred to this new dept his wk timing can reali suck big time at times manz...

Was kinda bored during service n started playin with my HP n Garry msged me.... kekek.... surprised to receive a msg fr him nowadays... Can neva expect when he'll msg me... Hmm.... was like bz msgin him thruout the whole time.... n he said tt his brother was gonna be out-stationed for 1.5mths this time.... I was like "Wahsay! So long ah? Den ur sis-in-law's gonna be stayin at yr plc again huh?" n he was like "Yalor..."

Hmmm.... remembered wat it was like previously when we used to msg each other n talk evyday over the phone.... Haiz... Missed those times.... :s Anyway we had to stop as he was gonna haf his dinner.... so there i was lookin ard during service to keep myself occupied n not slpy... *OoPs* Kekekek.... :P

After mass my mum told me tt my dad was opp the church waiting for us. As we made our way to the car, Van n myself started jokin n sayin things like "Wah! This papa so clever ah... use traffic jam as an excuse den come jus to fetch us... Hmm... maybe next time we shld oso say smething like we're caught in traffic or the train broke down or smethinglike tt den we wldnt need to come to church with u guys...." Hahaha..... Was supposed to go back for dinner after buying some stuff but sara had to return the sash she borrowed fr her senior. Haiz... Troublesome siaz... so headed for Compass Point den home for dinner....

Was relaxin in front of the tv after dinner.... nothing's on... dunno wat im watchin... this show abt some contamination in the water is on on Ch 5. Felt bored...or was it more of like lonely? Hmm... decided to msg HH n Joel askin them wat they were doin...No reply... wonder wat they're up to... hmm...

Jus woke up from my nap... Din realise tt i was actuali tt slpy... kinda jus dozed off without even realisin it. Hmmm.... pple say tt u're supposed to be feelin fresh n all aft a short nap but smehow, i cant help but feel tt tis isnt the case for me. God noes wats gotten into me... haiz.. : ( fr the moment i opened my eyes till now, Im jus not feelin rite. Is this how one gets when one is croped up at home for too long? But then again, hw long is long? its onli yesteray n today tt i didnt meet zhi to go out. Is tt long? Hmmm.... from the looks of stuff it seems so... haiz... decided to go eat some Nuts Abt Chocolate... Goodness! Cant believe tt i did tt! Its been like months since my last indulge! SO SINFUL!!! But wat the fark!

Received a reply from J... FINALLY! But it was jus a blardy one word reply! "Outside" Damn... wats tt supposed to mean? Jus bcos i was kinda cold towards him is this how he replies me? Dunno y its gettin to me this way oso... *crackpot* Anyway... he's gone clubbin with his frenz.... :s

Exchanged a few more msgs n he was like askin if anything was wrong n i said no n asked y. Den he said tt he feels like smethings amiss n jus brushed it off by sayin tt maybe he was jus being sensitive.... Looked at tt msg for awhile... dunno wat i was doin oso... haiz... :s den smeting jus made me reply to him... i was like "U're rite to feel tt way. U're not being sensitive cos i m treatin u kinda cold. " Den he went like :< n i said smething like "Stop sulkin n frownin n tinking wat u've said or done wrong. U haven. Its nt u. Its me... ..." Told him tt i was tryin to keep a distant btw us asi felt tt we were gettin too close to each other esp aft tt day where i was practically on the line with him the whole day. Also told him tt he reminded me too much of Chris n also Mel... haiz... goodness! He's like the combination of the both of them! Young guys... r all younger guys this way? I wonder....

He den said something like guess u need some time to yrself and i'll take this time to njoy... n " Yes i may remind u of them but u're still holding back. Im not sure y. But i guess only u can sort things out yourself." Before i could reply him he replied with another msg saying "I noe im getting very close to you. I wonder if tts y u're cold suddenly. I haf no probs with stickin to u like honey. Its whether u can breathe." Haiz.... wat to reply? I oso dunno... smetimes to not reply seems to be like a beta option... den again... is tt reali an option or an escape? There's such a fine line differentiating the 2.

Received a reply fr HH... seems like he's hafin a fever... : ( tis guy ah.. so old oredi yet dunno how to take care of himself... haiz... hasnt reali recovered fr his flu yet... n its been like quite sometimes oredi... n nw he's hafin the fever... still can tell me tt his brother is oso sick... tis guy ah... need a scolding from me liaos... : Haiz... asked me wat i was doin n i said updating my blog... n he was like oic... nothing else... no further msgs even till now... : (

Sometimes i cant help to tink n reflect wat i m actuali lookin for in all this. When u're in a relationship, U haf yr ups n downs. When u're not u feel lonely n yearn for tt someone for companion sake n all. Sometimes it's jus different to talk to tt special someone instead of yr close frens.... not tt u dun wanna turn to them. U noe tt they'll always be there wheneva u need them... I noe tt for a fact cos i've got these bunch of crazy wacky frenz whom i noe i can turn to wheneva i need to...

But at times, u jus feel like confiding to tt particular someone whose close in yr heart. Guess some pple will noe wat i mean.... When u meet someone u like, unexpected things happen. If onli time can be turned back... who noes then lots of things may not haf happened.... No heartaches... unhappiness... sadness... loneliness... but is tt wat i reali wan? Hmmm.... listening to Love Me by Collin Raye. Love tis song manz... brings back lots of memories... happy n sad ones... means so much... each time i hear it.... smehow my eyes get moist.... *SiGhz*

Collin Raye - Love, Me

I read a note my grandma wrote back in nineteen twenty-three.
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me. he said,
"boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but i loved your grandma so."

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together.
Get married in the first town we came to, and live forever.
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet, instead
Of her, i found this letter, and this is what it said:

If you get there before i do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long i'll be.
But i'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.

And between now and then, till i see you again,
I'll be loving you. love, me.

I read those words just hours before my grandma passed away,
In the doorway of a church where me and grandpa stopped to pray.
I know i'd never seen him cry in all my fifteen years;
But as he said these words to her, his eyes filled up with tears.

If you get there before i do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long i'll be.
But i'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till i see you again,
I'll be loving you. love, me.
Between now and then, till i see you again,
I'll be loving you. love, me.

--== BBbrrrrr..... Kinda Cold today... ==--

Hmm.... *BuRp* Oops... jus finished lunch... Dunno wats gotten into me... I actuali woke uso earli on a sat!!! Goodness... tink my biological clock is seriously screwed smehow... Hmm... come to tink of it.... I was woken up by someone at 8am! Haha... who else but Joel called to wake me up. Den i was like "Wat time is it now?" n he was like "8am oredi wor... time to wake up." For a minute there i was like "HUH!!! 8am?!" Den i kinda reali opened my eyes! Suddenly subconsciously i was like "HeY! It's Sat today lehz!" n told him tt "Its' sat lehz my dear... I dun work on wkends.... " : Þ~~ kekeke.... Poor boy... he was like feelin so bad tt he actuali woke me up n kept on apologising.... Hahaha... : )

Heee.... im usually in bed at tis hr... but instead, here i m now.... haf tis feelin tt i'm gonna be lamenting on n on again.... keke.... oh ya... me chged my voicemail again... haha... :p

Decided to go take a look n c whose online in ICQ.... the nick ive always wanted to c was online... kind aglad to c him online but me changed my status to Invisible... haiz.... here he is online n i've always anticipated to c him online so tt we can catch up... but here i m on invisible mood... jus dun want to be talkin abt the same thing each time we chat.... he'll always be askin the same things n i'll be tellin him the same things n we'll end up arguing.... i jus dun understand y he can understand things.... or is it me? cant help to ponder.... : (

woke up n the 1st thing i did as usual was to check my hp. Hmm... rec'd 3 msgs wor! N 2 was fr the mischievious boy... kekek... :) replied him n was still kinda blur (as usual) so decided to go back to slp... den rec'd a reply... hmmm... n tis time it was fr HongHong... haha... :) told me tt his game was cancelled as the weather didnt look too good... hmm... suddenly it dawned upon me tt it was reali kinda dark gloomy and cosy in my room.... hmm... snuggled under my comforter n tried my darnest to go back to slp but cldnt... haiz... replied hong hong n aft awhile he said it felt shiok n wanna go zonk... so told him to go if he wanted to... so off to LaLa land he went again...

Gave up n slpin n decided to jus wake up n go haf lunch... :) so here i m now stuck in front the PC again... rec'd another sms fr the little monster tellin me tt it was lunch time. hmm... guess he's kinda late... me oredi ate.. haha... meddled here n there n started listening to my mp3s. Den my mum called.... even she was surprised tt i was up tis earli... kekeke.... den she asked if i was gonna go with sara to ToaPayoh... decided not to but den changed my mind since i didnt want to travel all the way there alone. Hate takin the bus... haiz... so told her tt i'd be meetin her there at 4... hope she doesnt dilly-dally... haiz... or i'll be there waiting....

*ti ti ti* rec'd a msg fr YiHong aka Hong Hong askin me for this addy.... was contemplating whether or not to gif it to him... hmm... decided to anyway.... cld be gd cld be bad... at least they'll noe wats on my mind n all.... since i'll be like sayin evything in here it'll be good too... den i wldnt haf to keep repeating myself to evyone tis way.... :) Like wat my darlin said it's easier to type n compared to writin... haf to agree with her on tt... hmmm... rec'd another msg fr HH... haiz.... "It's ok... No harm done... beta get more rest since u've not fully recovered... "

Finally sara's back home... at least there'll be some noise.... Kekeke.... :) paisay ah but u can reali be nosit at times.... cannot tahan lehz....hmmm.... *ti ti ti* kekek... my hp macham like hotline siaz... kekeke..... who is it tis time?..... Kekek... aww... smeone's being so sweet as usual.... haha... :) tink my hp's gonna be infested with ants n bees sooner or later.... hee...

Aiyoz.... kinda lazy to go ToaPayoh lehz.... *hmPf!* But at least its beta then stayin at home doin nothing la..... Hope chit chit msges me her new addy....

...:: sLeepLeSs NiTe ::...

I'm freakin bored n I cant Zzz.... Nothing interestin on tv too! *SiGhZ* wat a way to spend my fri n the start of a sat... Seems so quite nw. COme to tink of it... its been kinda long since ive been online when im @ home. Hmmm.... lots of stuff circlin in my mind... guess tts jus me... tinking abt stuffs when i get real bored n dunno wat to do... : (

Got real boredi so decided to send a msg to sme pple... had to wait for awhile b4 i received their replies earlier on... *SiGhz* Cant help it la... wat can 1 expect on a fri? THE DAY to go out n relax...

Haf to admit tt i was kinda disappointed... or was i? when i read the replies... Reali dunno... kind of a mixed feelin... partial disappointment n a pinch of... hmm... boredom? I dunno how u explain tt kind of a feelin.... but...its a bit of evything i guess.... Its like my anticipations to be able to get someone or even anyone to talk to were all dashed! Damn! :S Evyone was like OUT!!! ArGh!

Although there were sort of constant replies from some... i was like aaahhh... y dun u jus go do yr stuff n njoy yrself... dun bother entertaining me la... i'll jus stay where i m n rot my way thru the nite n im sure over the weekend... *SiGhZ* Siansation manz.....

Hmm.... things sort of got beta aft i received a call from "Hong Hong"....keke... he'd msged me earlier sayin tt he was @ broadwalk drinking or is it boardwalk? Ah wayeva la huh. Kinda surprised tt he came home rather earli... I was like " Eh... u reach home oredi ah?" n he was like "Not reali la... walkin home now lor...." n i was like "OoOo... i C..." n he went like "Ya... kinda late oredi hw come u're nt aslp yet?" and i was like " It's fri lehz n its still earli n i cant slp lor..." den he went on like "Im walkin up the stairs to take the lift nw. C hw later aft i bath i call u or wat lor... but gota slp earli cos playin soccer tmw..." DaMn! Jus when i tot tt i wldnt be tt bored.... Anyway i was like "Like tt ah den beta dun call la.... go slp earlier beta..." n he was like " C hw lor.... later I msg u...."

Tt was like hrs ago n ive long known tt he's off in some LaLa land of his.... :S Hmmm.... So here i m now at blardy 3.14 in the morning still wide-awake n hafin nothing to do except bitchin to myself in here! ^$#%$& *siGhz* Hopeless la....

One's off in LaLa land n the other one's lost smewhere in space... who noes... mayb as far as... oh damn... wats tt place called? Argh... hafin a mental block now!!! Of all time! Errr.... its something Horizon... Alamak! Far Horizon? Damn they haf this movie which was recently aired on tv... ArGh.... Great Horizon? Ah Damn it! It's smething horizon la! *HmPf!!* Hmm... the wkends gonna be boring.... No plans with ZhiZhi yet even though she wont be workin tis sat...haiz... gonna be so bored... confirm can form cob-webs by the dozen liaos... Hmm... speakin of tt, it reminds me of mischievious Joel.... kekek.... he told me recently how spiders spun *err.... is tis the correct word? Oh wateva....* their web n y they neva eva got caught in their own ones! Kekek... enlightened! Haha.... oh well... tt noti boy's lost in space nw. But he'll be up in an hr or 2... poor him gotta go wk for the next 5 or is it 6 days, after a 5 days break! Hmmm.... : /

Aaa.... listenin to 1 of my fav song nw.... "All of my life... I haf been waiting for... All u gif to me... U open my eyes n showed me how to love unselfishly... ive dreamed of this a 1000 time b4 in my dreams i cldnt love u more i will gif u my heart until the end of time... u're all i need my love... my valentine.... " Hmmm... so romantic siaz... : )

Hee... Feelin kinda slpy wor... Drained my brain liaos... hahah... wateva tts left of it tt is.... : P~~ Wahsay! It's 3.36 liaos.... Tink me beta go switch off evything n lie in bed liaos.... (-.-)....zzZZzz.... Alamak... my hp jus rang... Damn! Gave me a shock manz!!! StUpiAk!!! My didi jus called me! Aiyoz... *toink*

Friday, September 19, 2003

..:: HoMe SwEeT HoMe ::..

Yeah!!! Im finally back home! :) Showing my sis my webbie BUT noe wat? Stupid me forgot the link! Hahah... :P Darn! Famish nw manz! Hmm... gonna touch here n there den gonna haf dinner!

Oh Ya! Ms Blur Sotong LEE was seriously Blur jus now manz.... Was asking her where she inserted n paste her code thingy when she did her tatty bear thingy n guess wat she told me? "Jus wrote down on the paper n paste it smewhere lor..." Wahlauz eh! I was like snoooked for a few seconds to tink thru wat she jus blirted out sia! Gave her tt sotong look as usual den asked her again n noe wat? She returned tt sotong look! So i asked her again n den daylight dawned on her n she went like OOo0o0oo0oo........... n started laffin again! Goodness man! Smeone pls tell me wat to do with our Ms Sotong PPplllsssss.....

K la.. me gonna eat liaos... n drink my soupy which smells like TOM YAM *slurp* YumMiEeee... Favourite manz.... kekek.... :)

... HeAdAcHe...

Can't believe tt ive been makin changes here n there since aft lunch... :S Hmmm... n im still stuck at certain things... at least there's a whole new look nw... cant reali say im satisfied yet but its ok for smeone like me who noes nuts abt tis... haha... :) quite an achievement i must admit.. kinda pleased lehz... :)

Kekek... not reached my benchmark oso lehz... aiyoz... stressful siaz! but Heck it la la! Its FRIDAY! Aiya... been tryin since jus now to figure y there's smething wrong with the tag board thingy lehz... where the fark is the problem... goin bonkers oredi la! figure tt one later... me wanna go c wat i can change or upload... hehehe... :)

*ti ti ti* Haha... jus received an sms fr smeone.... Wow! "If Love is a germ then let me be your antibiotic... Love, Xxxx." Mushy mushy.... aiyoz... hee...

~~ TGiF ~~

Kekeke.... was kinda late toDay... As usual! goodness i tink evy1's gettin rich... all the cabbies were either on call or had sme1 in it! Was under the blardy sun for so long n this dumb army jeep kept driving pass my area! Ah PiNG Ge! How boring can tt Be?

Bumped in2 gorilla the 1st thing in the morning! Haiz... hw great can the start of today be like? started meddling with my comp den got inspired to make sme changes to it again! Hahah... :Þ~ daMn! Tink im hooked on this... hehe... buggin my darlin with this n tt n askin abt this n tt... hw to do tis... hw to do tt... hahaha.... tink i'm gonna be gettin on her nerve sooner than expected oredi... n its gonna be to the power of 2 since roro's also so into this thingy nw... hehehe....

Started changin the colors n all den i was like *tiNg* I KNOW wat i wanna add under my links oredi!!! Hahaha.... my links to interenet sms for all the service providers.... hahaha... and also to my iguana mobile acc.... kekek... :)

Darn... feelin kinda hungry nw lehz... wanna go dwn to get smething to drink. But... err... haven done a single darn email yet lehz... *siGhz* tink me beta get to it now... :P heheh...

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Kekek... :Þ m still in ofc meddling with my webbie... :)

Hehe... goodness... cant believe im doin this... but it's alrite la...
kekek... at least i got my site up. The 1st n ONLY site i tink i'll eva be hafin manz...
*siGh* Kinda hungry now wor... hehehe.... gonna take a look at RoRo's webbie den chao for the day.

YeAh!!! Finally It's fri tmw.... :) Hahaha.....

*** SoS ***

Goodness! I'm like hafing a major headache manz. All these codes n stuffs reali gettin on my nerve! Argh :( Hmmm.... I cant believe tt im actuali doin this! Hahaha.... Tink im seriously goin bonkers oredi manz. All this Chitra la! HmPf! Saw her webbie den got motivated siaz! Damn! Hahaha.... N cos of tt im like stuff in ofc nw meddling with this whole damn thingy! Kekeke.... :Þ But kinda glad i DID IT!!! Not to bad for starters la... wat with me being a total dodo with such things... kekeke.... :) YiPpY!!!
This is gettin on my nerves!!! ArGh