Tuesday, October 07, 2003

=== Does it pay to be nice to others??? ===

Smething happened last nite which sort of affected my mood tremendously.... also caused a mis-communication btw YH n myself... M glad tt it we managed to clear tt... shall talk abt it later in the day if time permits.... Anyway wat happened got me tinkin....

Many a times you tend to console others when they r feelin down or troubled. Many a times u jus keep quiet when they vent their anger and frustrations at u. Y?? Bcos u know wat it's like to be in their position. Tts y when they turn to u, u noe tt it's for a valid reason. Either they've got no one else to turn to, they find it easy to confide n talk to u or they reali treasure yr friendship, the care n concern u shower upon them.

Sometimes u jus do all these to be a listening ear or even a punchin bag for tt smeone bcos u care n r concern 4 their well-being. At times, u don't even have to be a friend who constantly meet up or go out together to show tt u care n r concern/ No matter how much effort or concern u put in, u never seek for anything in return. Even a simple thank u wld suffice. However, U'll not expect tt smeone to throw verbal abuses nor turn their back at u even when they're feelin down n out. Tts the least one wld expect. At least tts wat i wld expect. However, when things like tt happens, how wld u feel?? How wld u feel if smeone whom u've been there for, who u've consoled, whom u've shared yr problems, laughter n nonsense with suddentl tells u tt he doesnt noe who the fuck u r???? Smeone whom u've treated like a younger brother, whom u've showed care n concern 4, whom u've consoled and adviced each time he comes running to u, suddenly slaps tt across yr face. How wld u feel?

Hurt? Disappointed? Sad? Dejected? Taken for granted of..... well i felt every single one of those emotions. Call me an emotional person.... but i guess i m at times....

Summary of wat was sent to me:

Self: U ok or nt? Smethings troubling u? U wanna talk abt it or share ur problems?
XXX: Share wat problems? No problems... tink i girl ah? Share problems? M fine jus mentally crazy....(Smething like tt... i cant recall wat was said exactly)
Self: Not only girls share problems, guys can oso. U haf anything u wanna talk abt? Wat's troubling u?
XXX Nothing... jus lots of shit....
Self: So wat kind of shit u wanna talk abt?...........................................
XXX: Den dun reply. Simple as tt. I dun even know who the fuck are you.
Self: Fine. I have my limits. If u're not bothered abt how others feel, tts fine. U want to vent yr frustrations at me, it's ok. Jus bare in mind tt I haf feelins n will get hurt too.
XXX: U get hurt? got pple with u wat.... short of an idiot like me makes no diff
XXX: K. Won't msg u again. Bye. Njoy yr days ahead.
XXX: ...Sorry... dun be angry k? You're the only one left talkin to me.....

Hnnn.... Is tt so? Maybe it's bcos of yr attitude n all tts y im the only sucker stupid enaf to still be here to listen n be there for u wheneva u need me.... But tt's jus me. A sucker! As long as i've got nothing against u n u me, i'll always be there wheneva u need me. Always tryin my best to help or console anyone as best as i can.... But.... is it right to be?? Shld i be? Does it pay to be this way? Nt tt im hopin for anything in return or wat-so-eva.... But m definately not lookin for such a reply to be thrown back n spit at back to me..... Maybe this is a lesson well learnt....

I guess i shld start learning not to take things tt seriously from now on. Shldnt let things, incidents, feelins or wateva eat into me n matter too much to me. Shld start learning to treat evythings tts happened or is to happen lightly n impartial from now on. Maybe, who noes, maybe this way, i wldnt be tt affected or hurt when unexpected turn of events happen....

Life wld be happier n simpler tt way.... No more complications, problems, sorrow, hurt..... a Simpleton's life... free frm all the troubles n turmoils of life... At times, i reali envy the simple-minded. A stress-free n worryless life they lead, passing each day as it comes, living it happily n to its fullest....

Haha.... either a simpleton's life one can lead or a life tt evuone else leads. But there's always a difference. Your life is wat u make it out to be. U control it and evything tt revolves ard it. Not the other wat round. If u choose not to let anything affect u, then it wldnt. U lead the life u choose to live. No one else has the right nor can they tell u how to lead yr own life. True, they may be able to influence u to a certain extend but ultimately it is U yrself who decides n chooses wat u wan. The choice lies in yr own palms. Once a choice has been made, never turn back n regret wat has been chosen n decided upon. Follow thru it be it good or bad, easy or difficult, happy or sad......

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