...:: ReFLecTion TiMe ::...

Trip down to Toa Payoh was kinda so so. Walked ard with m mum to pass time... She reali cuckoo siaz... forgot to switch her hp mode back to the norm n ther ei was callin her more than 7 times n she didnt realised tt i was tryin to reach her. Thank god i bumped into her in front of 1 of the shops while i was walking there. Hmm... onli when i asked her how come she didnt ans my call did we realise tt it was on silent mode. The ironic thing was tt she ws holdin on to her hp the whole time... Haha... :P

Msg HH to ask him where he was at cos the last time he told me he wld be goin to his fren shop opening at Toa Payoh. Hmm... He replied tt he was still here n asked where i was n i said the same. Den asked me sme other stuff which i cld quite remember. Onli remember him askin if i wanted to come down to meet him. N iwas like kinda confused... kekek... msged awhile... Was so thirsty den decided to go get a drink with my mum. Orange Julius here i come~~~ Kekek... bought my mum 1 orange n also a bacon n cheese hotdog... keke... n another drink for myself.

HH called n i was like tryin to keep my change n get his call at the same time... haha... asked me where i was n all n i was like huh? Didnt i tell u tt i was at Toa Poyah jus now? n he was like kinda surprised for a moment... asked if he got my reply when i said same n he was like OH! I tot u said same n meant tt u were still at home! Alamak! This guy ah... kekeke... can be so sotong sometimes. Anyway talked to him for awhile n said smething which he cldnt quite get wat i said so had to repeat a few times den my mum was like alamak... yr fren "per kak". n i started laffin... had to explain to HH tt my mum meant tt he was hard of hearing... kekeke... :P

Intended to get shampoo fr tt shop but den couldnt decided which to get... Haiz... anyway had to go for mass at 6pm so din haf much time to spend dilly-dallying at the shop. Was supposed to meet my dad in church but he was caught up at the last minute... As usual... so he said he'd try to come pick us up aft mass. Hmm... ever since he got transferred to this new dept his wk timing can reali suck big time at times manz...

Was kinda bored during service n started playin with my HP n Garry msged me.... kekek.... surprised to receive a msg fr him nowadays... Can neva expect when he'll msg me... Hmm.... was like bz msgin him thruout the whole time.... n he said tt his brother was gonna be out-stationed for 1.5mths this time.... I was like "Wahsay! So long ah? Den ur sis-in-law's gonna be stayin at yr plc again huh?" n he was like "Yalor..."

Hmmm.... remembered wat it was like previously when we used to msg each other n talk evyday over the phone.... Haiz... Missed those times.... :s Anyway we had to stop as he was gonna haf his dinner.... so there i was lookin ard during service to keep myself occupied n not slpy... *OoPs* Kekekek.... :P

After mass my mum told me tt my dad was opp the church waiting for us. As we made our way to the car, Van n myself started jokin n sayin things like "Wah! This papa so clever ah... use traffic jam as an excuse den come jus to fetch us... Hmm... maybe next time we shld oso say smething like we're caught in traffic or the train broke down or smethinglike tt den we wldnt need to come to church with u guys...." Hahaha..... Was supposed to go back for dinner after buying some stuff but sara had to return the sash she borrowed fr her senior. Haiz... Troublesome siaz... so headed for Compass Point den home for dinner....

Was relaxin in front of the tv after dinner.... nothing's on... dunno wat im watchin... this show abt some contamination in the water is on on Ch 5. Felt bored...or was it more of like lonely? Hmm... decided to msg HH n Joel askin them wat they were doin...No reply... wonder wat they're up to... hmm...

Jus woke up from my nap... Din realise tt i was actuali tt slpy... kinda jus dozed off without even realisin it. Hmmm.... pple say tt u're supposed to be feelin fresh n all aft a short nap but smehow, i cant help but feel tt tis isnt the case for me. God noes wats gotten into me... haiz.. : ( fr the moment i opened my eyes till now, Im jus not feelin rite. Is this how one gets when one is croped up at home for too long? But then again, hw long is long? its onli yesteray n today tt i didnt meet zhi to go out. Is tt long? Hmmm.... from the looks of stuff it seems so... haiz... decided to go eat some Nuts Abt Chocolate... Goodness! Cant believe tt i did tt! Its been like months since my last indulge! SO SINFUL!!! But wat the fark!

Received a reply from J... FINALLY! But it was jus a blardy one word reply! "Outside" Damn... wats tt supposed to mean? Jus bcos i was kinda cold towards him is this how he replies me? Dunno y its gettin to me this way oso... *crackpot* Anyway... he's gone clubbin with his frenz.... :s

Exchanged a few more msgs n he was like askin if anything was wrong n i said no n asked y. Den he said tt he feels like smethings amiss n jus brushed it off by sayin tt maybe he was jus being sensitive.... Looked at tt msg for awhile... dunno wat i was doin oso... haiz... :s den smeting jus made me reply to him... i was like "U're rite to feel tt way. U're not being sensitive cos i m treatin u kinda cold. " Den he went like :< n i said smething like "Stop sulkin n frownin n tinking wat u've said or done wrong. U haven. Its nt u. Its me... ..." Told him tt i was tryin to keep a distant btw us asi felt tt we were gettin too close to each other esp aft tt day where i was practically on the line with him the whole day. Also told him tt he reminded me too much of Chris n also Mel... haiz... goodness! He's like the combination of the both of them! Young guys... r all younger guys this way? I wonder....

He den said something like guess u need some time to yrself and i'll take this time to njoy... n " Yes i may remind u of them but u're still holding back. Im not sure y. But i guess only u can sort things out yourself." Before i could reply him he replied with another msg saying "I noe im getting very close to you. I wonder if tts y u're cold suddenly. I haf no probs with stickin to u like honey. Its whether u can breathe." Haiz.... wat to reply? I oso dunno... smetimes to not reply seems to be like a beta option... den again... is tt reali an option or an escape? There's such a fine line differentiating the 2.

Received a reply fr HH... seems like he's hafin a fever... : ( tis guy ah.. so old oredi yet dunno how to take care of himself... haiz... hasnt reali recovered fr his flu yet... n its been like quite sometimes oredi... n nw he's hafin the fever... still can tell me tt his brother is oso sick... tis guy ah... need a scolding from me liaos... : Haiz... asked me wat i was doin n i said updating my blog... n he was like oic... nothing else... no further msgs even till now... : (

Sometimes i cant help to tink n reflect wat i m actuali lookin for in all this. When u're in a relationship, U haf yr ups n downs. When u're not u feel lonely n yearn for tt someone for companion sake n all. Sometimes it's jus different to talk to tt special someone instead of yr close frens.... not tt u dun wanna turn to them. U noe tt they'll always be there wheneva u need them... I noe tt for a fact cos i've got these bunch of crazy wacky frenz whom i noe i can turn to wheneva i need to...

But at times, u jus feel like confiding to tt particular someone whose close in yr heart. Guess some pple will noe wat i mean.... When u meet someone u like, unexpected things happen. If onli time can be turned back... who noes then lots of things may not haf happened.... No heartaches... unhappiness... sadness... loneliness... but is tt wat i reali wan? Hmmm.... listening to Love Me by Collin Raye. Love tis song manz... brings back lots of memories... happy n sad ones... means so much... each time i hear it.... smehow my eyes get moist.... *SiGhz*

Collin Raye - Love, Me

I read a note my grandma wrote back in nineteen twenty-three.
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me. he said,
"boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but i loved your grandma so."

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together.
Get married in the first town we came to, and live forever.
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet, instead
Of her, i found this letter, and this is what it said:

If you get there before i do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long i'll be.
But i'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.

And between now and then, till i see you again,
I'll be loving you. love, me.

I read those words just hours before my grandma passed away,
In the doorway of a church where me and grandpa stopped to pray.
I know i'd never seen him cry in all my fifteen years;
But as he said these words to her, his eyes filled up with tears.

If you get there before i do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long i'll be.
But i'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till i see you again,
I'll be loving you. love, me.
Between now and then, till i see you again,
I'll be loving you. love, me.