~~~ DaZed & NuMb ~~~

Got up earli tis morning... cldnt reali slp well today... kept wakin up every nw n then... Haiz... Guess it expectd lor... : ( Anyway, called Roro to wak her up n in the end she was still late for work today. After i left home decided tt i was too lazy to walk to the kpoitiam at the back to get my fav black carrot cake so settled for the bee hoon instead. Called Chitra n asked her if she wanted anyting but she said no. So bought 2 packets for roro n myself n oso Anja's Vitamins for the week...

Was in the cab when i received Chitra's msg... she msged me "Pls dun tell me tt gers XXXXX." I was like almost reachin ofc so i told her tt i wld talk to her later since i was oredi turnin in... decided to msg XXXXX since i was supposed to pass her my bank account no. so tt she cld transfer the cash to me... went to punch card for roro myself an anja... but had to make 2 trips since there were like a few others who came in to punch their cards the same time as me... troublesome! Cant they jus haf tt stupid punch machine thing in our rooms instead?

Finally settled down in ofc n Chitra n myself looked at each other n she asked me the same qn again... i was like wat do u tink? She was like oh pls dun tell me its reali her... den i told her yeah it is n she was liek OMG!!!!! I was like yeah....tell me abt it la... imagine how i felt when i realised i was rite... *siGhz* decided to go dwn earlier since we both need a fag badly... so msged anja to meet us dwnstairs... Was kinda cold towards Joel when he msged me... dunno y oso. Normally i'd be glad to receive a ms fr him..... mayb i was jus in 1 of my mood swings... but wat to expect after such shockin news?

Anyway we went down... ate drank n finally got to fag my 1st stick of the day... goodness the both of us were like faggin non-stop... haiz... noe its not gd but reali needed to de-stress manz... :S Anja n Jymmie finally came down n we wer elike talkin abt it n we told anja tt lots of things happened when she wasnt ard for the 2 days tt she was on course... tried our best to update her... dne told them wat happened since jymmie hasnt read my blog yet... This guy ah... made me like repeat myself almost like 4 times or so before the whole damn thing actuali sank in n he got wat i was sayin n who i was referin to... his reaction was drastic... even said had to slap XXXX to wake her up... kekeke... cannot ahan this jymmie... :P

Anyway were like dwnstairs for like almost an hr... but heck care la... not bothered... dun even haf the bloody mood to come to work in the 1st place... like a blardy zombie in ofc... didnt do much emails oso... half the time i was like replyin not knowin wat i replied.... haiz... was like doin n doin but the stats wasnt increasing at all.... frus manz...

Roro was like doin superly duperly fast... almost twice the no. i did manz... i was like wei u rushin for wat huh? n she was like kekek... i wanna update my blog later mahz... Gee... cannot tahan manz... Oh YA!!! Madam's kinda like started her's too but.... err... there's like nothing much in it lehz... kekeke.... nebermind madam... confirm u will haf lots to put wan... wahaha... hmm... still no reply from XXXXX at all... wonder wat she's tinkin n goin thru also...

Anja started emailin us... said she's read our blog n all den we started emailin each other... talkin abt frenz... bfs... relationships... how we can never trust a guy... how complacent they all get n how gers will still do anything for their guy... how we neglect our closest frens jus for them... we all felt tt it wasnt worth the while...

I personally feel that its jus not worth it to lose a gd fren to a guy tt u maybe loving at tt point of time. BUT, when u're in a relationship, at times unintentionally u tend to neglect yr frens.... its inevitable... u forget ur frenz den u come cryin back to them when things btw u n ur bf dun turn out the way u expect it to be n u hope tt things btw u n ur fren will continue as where u left off... tts wrong lor.. i mean by neglecting them u've oredi built tt invisible gap in yr frenship... n to catch up fr where u left off is not easy... nt tt its impossible but more of like difficult...

Haven gotten the time to update my blod at all... wanted to but i knew tt if i were to start meddlin with things in here i wldnt continue with my emails... so haiz... did emails lor... after awhile went behind to fag with the others again.. cannot tahan sia...

Time passed kinda fast..... without us knowing it was oredi lunch time... came back to Hugang Green with roro to pluck our eyebrows... Hectic week for me manz... another day at work tme den i'll be on-leave on wed n on 1 1/2days on thur n fri with roro n aft the course we're gonna be doin smething to our hair n ta-da!!!! the long awaited outing... tink i reali need tt break... feelin so stressed up n all... time to un-wind...

Had lunch den sat outside mac n started eatin... started talkin to roro abt wat happened... told her i reali cldnt swollow wat has happened... n it isnt cos i haven gotten over chris n all... i know i haf... but the thing here is tt he has feelins n love my bestest of fren n is even willin to commit n wait for her n stuffs like tt... damn it! felt so betrayed... then we started talkin if it was smeone else it wldnt haf had such an impact like now... i wld even be happy for him... haiz... but not now lor... things btw me n XXXXX will definately be different now... Roro kept sayin tt time will chg things... it takes time n all... n at first i was like ya maybe lor... but the more i tot abt it the surer i got tt it wldnt be... i know myself very well lor... i mean i know tt things would neva be the same anymore... as it is... i oredi haf tt doubt n all oredi... i know its not XXXXX fault but i guess its natural tt i behave this way n all... Still no reply fr XXXXX...

Went bak to ofc ard 2.30pm but didnt haf the mood to do mails but LL... was like doin emails the whole day n also emailin Vincent... he recently started wkin for Singtel... got to know him via irc oso... he was like hey how come u no mention abt me wan? At least me evyday oso email u in ofc mahz.... hahaha... so there... i've mentioned... happy now? :P

Anyway by the time i finally hit out quota is was like slightly after 5 oredi... haiz... started meddlin with my blog but didnt haf the mood to make any entry... haiz... so surfed the net looking for animations instead... so u can c... sme changes oredi... kekek... : ) not to gawdy or orbiang is it?

Found a few sute animations so saved them... evyone left oredi except for roro n myself as usual... was like meddlin here n there... found the command for the background but no matter where i put it it jus doesnt change the whole damn thing... got slightly fedup... same for the music too... couldnt find the song i wanted... damn... haf the song at home though... tried to upload to my angelfire... its still uploading lor... hope it works.... this blardy thing is seriously gettin on my nerve sia... argh... : (

Haf been msgin with Garry since lunch... kinda glad he msged me... *siGhz* its been kinda long since we last msged more than 10 xs or even talked on the phone wor... reali miss talkin to him n all... i guess tts cos i reali was fond of him lor n things jus ended... dun wanna tink too much abt it oso la... :S anyway he's still msgin me... n its started to look like things r becomin normal between us n goin back to how it was like... hope so lor... was abt to leave ofc n rec'd XXXXX's reply... said she transfered the money to me. went to check n told her tt ive received it. den she was like sayin she doesnt tink she'll be joinin us on fri since she has to work on sat n also tt she isnt in a very good mood... OF COS she wld be... aft all tt's happened.... anyway showed roro her msg n she was like... so its settled la... looks like XXXXX wont be goin n chris oso wont be goin... so good u can njoy yrself... i was like ya hope so...

Came home n had dinner... was still msgin garry... talkin abt stuffs n wat happened b4 n he was like I Miss U Alot... I was like askin him so if i dun call u u wld neva call me is it? n instead of answerin me he asked me the same thing... goodness! guys! anyway asked him the same thing again n he was like No La.... den i was like is it? den u waiting for when den u'll call me lehz... cldnt quite remember wat he said... it doesnt matter anyway... was like msgin him n all den he was like me go bath first talk to u aft tt... n i was like wokie...

So here m updatin my blog n aft awhile he was like eh i need to slp oredi lehz cos need to be up at 5.30am cos takin the 1st ferry to Batam... talk to u another time k? i was like *sIghz* k lor.. den u beta go slp earli... n he was like u oso slp earli k? Muack... love u darlin.... i was like tinking to myself FWAH!!!! He like very long time no say such things to me liaos lehz.... kekeke... n i was like k will try lor....n he said if cant slp den call me lor... but i dun tink i will lor... dunno y oso... mayb cos im neva in the habit of wakin smeone up fr their slp unless i cant help it lor... hee.... hope i'll be able to slp lor...

YEAH!!! I managed to upload the Collin Raye song into my angelfire liaos... kekeke... ho say! Tmw me go ofc ask chitra abt the background n music thingy liaos... hehe... :P tmw suddenly seems to be brighter oredi... esp since its gonna be my last day at ofc... hmmm... tink me beta clear all my f/u oso or else my darlin sure curse n swear... kekeke... :P Hmm... i guess ive updated most of wat i wanna say oredi... nothing much left to say oso... dun feel like slpin now lehz... but dunno wat to do... Hmmm.... maybe surf to find more things to put in my blog...


A POeM ThAT iS SO TrUe
=======================

Never say I love you
If you don't really care

Never talk of feelings
If they aren't really there

Never hold my hand
If you mean to break my heart

Never say forever
If you ever plan to part

Never look into my eyes
If you are telling me a lie

Never say hello
If you think you'll say goodbye

Never say that I'm THE one
If you dream of more than me

Never lock up my heart
If you don't have the key