Simplicity Versus Extravagence

The past week went by well... the much awaited gathering at my plc finally came... we had a great deal of fun, enjoyment and fantastic company as well as lots of food... everyone contributed quite abit for the potluck steamboat. Angie was the designated photographer that day as my camera batt was low... so I'll post pics of our gathering within the next few days...

Sunday went by well... went over to my sis-in-law's plc and upon reaching I asked Garry wat the occassion was as she had invited us over... aiyayayaya... onli while we were waiting for the lift to go up did i remember that the gathering was becos of Eldin's Birthday!!! Aiyoz... some kind of uncle n auntie we were huh... forgot our own nephew's birthday... *tSk* *tSk* Paisay ah go empty handed... we'll make it up to u... Promise...

Disclaimer
What I am about to express are feelings and thoughts that are going thru my mind. It is not meant to belittle anyone, point a finger at anyone or blame anyone. However, this does not mean that you or anyone who is reading this can use this to judge me, my love ones or question the way I or any of my love ones decide how we want to lead our life with whatever means we have.

Why I'm blogging now is because of something my dearest shared with me today on our way back home. I have mixed feelings about it... on one hand I'm angry and pissed and in some way it felt humiliating but on the other hand I thought to myself why should I feel this way when the comments made weren't even from someone who has known me/us long enough or has been in constant contact with us or know us for years nor were the comments made/questions asked based on findings.

I believe that each and every one of us makes a decision based on our own believes, planning and after much thought... each and everyone of us have our own priorities, mindset, believes, teachings and the decisions we make are the choices we choose. Everyone has free will to choose and decide what's best for them. It may not be the best for others but to some, it is the best of what they can do.

Those who know me know that I am a person who never regrets or looks back at a decision that I've made. I choose to make those decisions and I live by the decisions I make and I am proud to say that till this day, I never regret any decision I've made the past 29 years. The same goes for the things I say. Though some may say and feel that at times I speak too fast and never think things properly 1st, or that the things I say may or may not hurt others. That I am being too blunt and straight foward. But that's me. That's who Rachel is. Frank, out-spoken, a person never known to mince my words. Never one who is hypocritical. Never one who pretends and tries to put up a front, live in a fantasy world or lives in denial.

I choose to do things, go places, have short holidays and spend on things that are within my means. I choose to say the things I say because I value everyone as a friend and feel that a true friend is one who doesnt need to put up a front to please you or make you feel good. There is an old saying that Respect is meant to be earned and not given. For me, I give the respect and trust but never abuse it cos once I take it back it is hard for me to return it. I trust and respect you for who you are and not judge you for what you are not.

I give you the respect with no questions asked no matter whether you are rich or poor, fat or thin, whether u hold a high post or if you are a low wage salary employee, whether you are the employer or the employee. Irregardless of race or nationality. I don't jump to conclusion without 1st finding out the truth or experiencing and gettin 1st hand encounters. I do not expect much except that you return the same to me and not make me prove myself worthy to gain your respect, trust or friendship. Without any uncalled for doubts, questions or the need for reasons.

There are people from many walks of life. Some are blessed with a good life, not having the need to worry about bills, debts or to make ends meet. Some are not so blessed but they are still able to live a moderately good life with abit of fine tuning here and there. And there are some who slog and work jus to make ends meet and have to constantly worry whether they have enough money at the end of the day for a meal or to pay the ever mounting bills, loans and debts.

For me, I'm neither here nor there... not born with a golden spoon nor was I born in a very low incomed environment. I wouldn't dare classify myself under the middle income category nor do I belong to the low income category. To be able to afford a wedding and house, I wouldn't deny that these have put alot of stain on our pockets. But I am blessed and thankful that I have a very understanding and generous mother-in-law who was willing to help us out during our time of need and has never once demanded that we returned the loan we took from her to this day, as well as my parents who have helped us in the many ways they could.

Still, bills will always come every month, loans will accumulate and multiple due to the interest rates imposed by our legal blood suckers. But, does this mean that we should live a life of a pauper? Save every single cent jus to pay off our loans and bills? Of cos I'm not implying that we should continue splurging and incurring more debts. Are we not entitled to live a normal life and spend on everyday necessities that are within our means? Are we not entitled to the little happiness so as to forget all our troubles and sadness? Are we not supposed to go on short trips to destress and make ourselves happy for just that few days?

Why then are we being questioned? Why are there doubts? Why are we being judged? Why can't I go on short trips? What makes you tink that we are paying for everything during our short trips with our family? Even if we do end up paying slightly more, it is a choice we made. A choice I chose, to spend money in exchange for time spent with my family. Nothing can replace the memories and time spent with them. Nothing is more to me other than my family. Nothing will ever replace the memories accumulated. No one knows when a love one might jus leave you suddenly one day. I do not want to live to have to experience any regrets becos I wasnt able to spend time with them when there were around.

And why can't I have a 2nd dog? Does it mean that just becos I already have 1 dog I cant have another? Den why do people want to have more than 1 children? Or why do others need to own more than 1 car, 1 wallet, 1 watever... You may ask why don't I use the money and pay our loan/debt. We have asked ourselves that as well. However, will this amount of money spent on them instead be used to pay my loans and bill help to lower it? Will I be debt free within 2 years? The answer is simple. No it will not. Cos the amount is not significant enaf. It's not even enaf to pay for the interest that is being charged to me every month. Everything will continue to accumulate month after month.

Why can't I spend the amount that I can afford to spend on my dogs if it makes me happier? If it makes us relax? If it brings a smile to our faces? If it makes us remember to be selfless? If it reminds us that love is unconditional? If it brings joy and laughter to our lives and to the lives of those we care around us. Why then can't I spend it on these? Why then cant I spend it on my dogs if it makes me forget jus for that few minutes about everything that is bad?! Am I supposed to be misearble and unhappy month after month? And not spend abit to bring joy to my life? Am I not entitled to that little bit of happiness... glimmer of hope for a better tomorrow?

A true friend is someone who offers help with no questions asked if it is within their means. If it is not, a true friend will find ways to help you out to solve any problems faced. A true friend offers you solutions and not bigger problems be it financially, mentally or emotionally. And even if there are questions, it would be put forward to us tactfully and directed directly to us and not thru others. Questions will be asked out of concern and curiosity and not because of doubts or asked to belittle us or make us feel inferior.

I must say it has been a great experience and it was fortunate of us to have friends who belong to the middle if not higher income category. It was fun and good as long as it lasted to be able to enjoy the good life that they lead. To have made their acquaintances and experience what it was like to have the capability to spend and keep spending and not have to think too much if they would be able to have the means to pay for it the following month. The introduction to the quality of what their life was like to us... I must say that it was suffocating at times to have to be able to live up to their standards so as not to be the odd one out... it was a once in a lifetime experience... and I guess it will remain as that... Once in a lifetime... a life free from having to think if there was going to be sufficient funds the following month... A Life of Extravagence...

I believe it's time we return to the simple life where we live within our means... continue our life like every other family who belong between the low n middle income family in Singapore with loans and bills to pay every month... of cos there would be the occasional spending esp during the festive seasons. But no amount of money can be exchanged for the togetherness and happy moments shared with love ones and true friends and of cos my lovable duo... :)

A Life of Simplicity... Simplicity that brings with it happiness, joy and many many smiles... I thank god that I am blessed with supportive families, have many many simple friends who do not pass judgement or have doubts in me, buddies with whom our friendship has been built over more than 10 years whilst others whom I've known for less than a year and close friends I've known for less than a handful of years to share such simplicity with... :) I Thank God for my Simple Family & Friends...